Sorry, The Network Went Down

I’ve had quite a few occurrences these couple days that have had me coming back to this idea(l). Why? Well, maybe if I prattle on, I will stumble into the harsh, blinding, white light of realization and truth. Let’s traverse chronologically.

Last Night

As I was walking back from play practice, I had a thought. (Sarcastic comments aside) Back when I was in third grade, our teacher, Sr. Jane, would read to us. Her series of choice was by the author Laura Engalls Wilder entitled Little House on the Prairie. Everyday she would read for 30 minutes. I recall one chapter in which a sudden frost had hit the little farm. Laura’s father had gone out to check on the livestock and discovered that all the cows had their mouths frozen to the ground. Now, being a “city” boy, this is by all means possible to me, cows being dumb as they are. If it isn’t, then maybe I remember this
passage incorrectly, but as it stands: here we sit.
Sr. Jane read Laura’s aged words aloud to us. Then she paused. She had said, “Pa went out to the cows and … he did something I couldn’t see.” Something with that sentence didn’t add up for me. My tiny 3rd grade mind sensed something awry. I always had this feeling that our teacher was hiding something from us. Then last night I figured it out: urine. That’s what Pa used to free
the cows. And Sr. Jane censored that for us. She was protecting us and maybe herself from something that was sure to cause uproar in the classroom. But its relative. Nowadays I think, that’s a good idea, in pioneer America. Yesterdays I think, that’s gross!

It’s all relative

Earlier Today

Time and Location : relative. You cannot expect some one to stand still. Sorry to break it to you, parents and teachers, but little kids cannot stand still. Neither can adults or wolverines or dirt or tangerines. If you slow time down, sure, we’re really still – deathly still. If you take the point of view of a hummingbird, kids are slow as glaciers. If you speed time up, kids can never stand still. If
you take the point of view of a glaciers, kids are quick as hummingbirds. Awww, nature.

It’s all relative

Recent Today

I took some drugs. Antihistamines, that is. No matter what sort of anti-histamine I take (drowsy or non) I get drowsy. Terribly drowsy, and so it is today. Math let out early, so as I was waiting for my next class. I decided to go to the bathroom.
Ok – calm down. I know what your thinking. Here I am talking about it’s all relative and I start talking about a bathroom visit. Listen, sicko, just hold on. I felt the drugs kicking in. It made me feel everything and nothing all at once. You know how it is – you can feel your heart slow down. I just felt like standing, near comatose, so I walked to the handicapped stall to do it (barring
any derisive comments thence). So, there I stood with my jacket on, my book bag on one shoulder, and I stared at the door handle of the stall.
The handle is metal. shaped like a wide “u” glued to the wall, I couldn’t look away. I stared at the corner, where my reflection stood. I saw myself, only a foot away in real life, looking 300 yards away, and I felt offended. I don’t look that way. I’m no that far away. You, sir Handle, are mis-representing me. But then I again realized –

It’s all relative

I DO look like that. In that metal curve, at this moment, this time, I look like that. It’s quite a lesson.

English Class

As if I needed further weirdness, Laffey all but said

“It’s all relative”

in class today. I was, for all intensive purposes, just a little freaked.


You know, though, the same goes for love. (Oh, look how he brought it around to girls). My dad is a flirt. He puts his arm around women and gives back rubs, that sort of “Casanova” stuff. My mother is the opposite. She’ not very physically expressive. So a hug from my mom is almost more valuable than a hug from my dad. Or Jeff. (I try to work Jeff into my posts somehow)
I am like my dad, but I’m more .. scared? It’s an n odd mixture of my father’s out going ways and my mother’s fear of physical rejection (you reading this Mom?). It can tear you apart. So, I’m timid. I touch when I’m comfortable. And as for being comfortable;

It’s all relative


In church, the moment that causes me the most anxiety is the sharing of peace. At this part of church we turn and shake hands (or hug) people around us and say , “Peace be with you.” A menagerie (for you Bro) of physical requests, and physical acceptance and rejection. You can’t know how uncomfortable it makes me. Its crazy! Why? It’s just a hand shake! But, hey,

It’s all relative

But I’m not alone. When we say the our father, we hold hands. So many people don’t – they stand stone-faced with their hands at their sides or in their pockets. Are they afraid of touch like me?
Are they always like this or

Is it relative?

¿@Scared/Scarred or Insightful/In [email protected]?

12 Replies to “Sorry, The Network Went Down”

  1. this post wasn’t nearly as long as i thought it was going to be..


    my score is 526 something.. i’ll get you yet… :devious:


    i cant believe you get more out of a hug from your mom than your own boyfriend :shocked: :cry:


    i still have to find out what exactly “for all intensive purposes” means.. :\

  2. Oh Yeah. I made the post.
    Miles, I dig what you’re saying about church, I hate it when you don’t know anyone and you look around you and fear sweeps over you because you know your hands are cold and clammy and don’t want any old ladies to think, HEY he has clammy cold hands, too. I can’t wait to see him knit with hands like that.
    And my dad is a total flirt, you know how chicks dig stocky, bald, short guys.
    And St. Jane, who knew. She never really liked me, don’t know why.
    I’m out

  3. Ok, Bryce: 1) You can quit signing your posts with “I’m out” because it’s a post not a letter to your grandma.

    2) No one likes you, do they? Wierd, isn’t it…

    3) You should get a real website. Something hardcore. Want tips?

    I’m out

  4. My third grade teacher read those books to us too! And then we had to build a little house with people inside. Yes. It was fun. Thanks for asking.

  5. the way i see it, im more than welcomed at and because i was around when these sites were birthed, there a part of me. this is my home

  6. okay,
    1. if m&b don’t stop saying ‘I’m out’ then I’m gonna have to tell the family that the brothers are gay.
    2. since I’m a relative, and a Rausch, I guess I can see better than most how many, if indeed all, things are relative.
    C. perspective, even a relative one, is always good.
    7. I’m going to have to start reading these things on the correct days so that my posts can actually make sense and coincide with those that others submit. *sigh* so much effort just to be part of the cool crowd.

    okay, i’m outtie five. ;)

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