Adam Shmadam

I hadn’t been in college more than a week and I already needed a new roommate. I had the choice of staying in my room (and quite possibly getting a football player for a roommate) or I could ask one of the other two single rooms if they would be my neighbor. Well, roommate. So, like a live in neighbor. And all his stuff is in your room, I guess.

Anyway, the choice was clear. I had to figure out which of these two guys to pick. One was Don Krell (who, to this day, I haven’t had a conversation with) and the other was Adam Hafner. Well, Carl made up my mind for me. “Room with Hafner. He’s cool; he’s from Mitchell.”
I didn’t know Carl that well back then. But I followed his advice.

This was how I met Adam Hafner. A huggable, lovable LOL type of guy, Adam is amicable almost to a fault. He pats you on the back, shakes your hand, meses your hair, and calls you “Little Buddy.”

The first night, we lay on our back staring up at the stars (about 150 of them, glow in the dark, taped to our ceiling) and we talked for hours. It was obvious that this was the start of a solid friendship.

Now, though, Adam has, in light of certain events, become an RA on our floor. So he is moving all the way down the hall. For this reason I am writing this touching, funny, heartfelt goodbye to Adam. I mean, he’s not dying , but he’s going to be way way down the hall.
Plus, after he reads this, he’ll have to walk way way down to my room to give me a hug.

I am so evil, but here goes.

M’Adam Memories

Hey, Adam, remember that time when you came back home and I had that Budweiser sign up?
Oh, wait, that would be you.

Remember that time I tripped walking up the stairs?
No, that was you, too.

Remember how everyone would come into the room and scare me and take my stuff?
… you again.

Remember that time I was driving us to Pamida, and I was trying to remember what the title of the song was on the radio and I almost killed us by driving into the back of another vehicle?
Scary as hell, but that was still you.

Man, looks like my memories are confused. How about these.

Remember how Collin would always come into the room and play your guitar and I’d get all pissed and I finally got you to ask him to play in his room?
Oh wait – that was you wasn’t it.

Well how about all those times I asked you to play the keyboard song, which you wrote on a whim, but seems to be your most popular song?
No no no. That was all you.

How about when, last year, you’d have class, then I’d have class, and we were always on opposite schedules? And I’d always come back when you were in the room, and I’d think it was locked, so I’d actually end up locking you in the room and me out of it. Then I’d try to door and it’d be locked and I’d kinda fall into it. Then I’d swear, “Goddamn sons of bitches” and I’d have to unlock the door, and I’d come in and you’d be laughing your head off, and I’d get that grin on my face, and turn red, and say, “Shuddup” without any ‘t’s in it.
Oh. That was DEFINATELY you.

Ok. I will try one more time. I just had two AWESOME strawberry Fantas (Erin) And I’ll see if I can’t get it right this time.

Remember that time we all went to Pizza Ranch but all the guys kept calling my little sister “Girl Rausch,” and I was getting really pissed, so after we got done eating, you and I ran to the car and left Carl, Jeff, and Collin at Pizza Ranch to walk?
Well, Girl Rausch doesn’t sound as good as Girl Hafner. I must have that wrong.

Remember that time I was in bed, and it was morning, so I got out of bed, and to steady myself I used the towel holder to steady myself, and it gave and I fell and I popped back up and said, “I’m allright” ?
… ok, that was me.

But at least I can say that you’ll be missing one of the best buds you’ve ever spent 3 semesters sharing the same room.
Oh, wait. I guess that would be me, too.

¿@Sappy or [email protected]?

Author: Miles Rausch

I've made a smart playlist of all the songs with 0 plays. I listen to them because I feel bad for them not because I like the music. I'm THAT guy.

19 thoughts on “Adam Shmadam”

  1. its weird you trusted Carl more at the beginning of school than you do now. i have to admit, i was one of those persons that stole stuff out of hafners room: but i always put it back, in the wrong place, or in the bathroom. It seems like we’re talking about hafner as he were dead, but really; without miles, he might as well be. MORE REMENICING. Remember when hafner kept playing those obnoxious music videos by Brittany SPears and all those other crappy artists. And can anyone forget what i did to get back at him for leaving us at Pizza Ranch :devious: and whats funny he probably doesnt even know, but those of you out there, you know who you are.

    Remember when hafner would get all drunk over at tyson’s or someone’s and then he would come back and stumble around like an idiot and then he did the ol’ lock the door while its unlocked bit and we were inside laughing at him.

    oh man…i should transfer just so i could run in and scare the crap out of him.

    i love you guys! :devious:

  2. Here’s my Hafner story.

    One day last year he was in the TC eating and a bunch of us got done and went to go talk to him when I noticed that his Nike shirt was inside out.

    He hadn’t noticed. :D

  3. Obviously, Jess hasn’t learned the lesson of only press the button ONCE!! :bounce: j/k’n

    My hafner story goes… we were room’n together and I woke up in the early morning hours to Adam talk’n in his sleep. It was a moan, a skwirm, a yell.. it was hafner, installing a scanner in his sleep. :D

    The worse memory of rooming with haffy was: One night he came in late and I asked him “What have you been doing to night..??” to which he replied.. “Smell this.. ” :peekaboo: You’ll have to ask him for the rest!

  4. Well, being that I didn’t go to DSU with you fellas I guess I only have a couple stories to share:
    1.
    The way he and my mom can acted together. It’s weird, my mom is pretty laid back and everything, but Miles and I on occasion still get busted for the occasional curse. Adam never really seemed too scared of my mom. Like when the car broke down and my mom had to pick Miles, Adam, and I up and the next thing I know I hear Adam say “Shit” twice in one second!! My mom just kept on a talking and I wouldn’t doubt if she dropped some Curse Bombs as well.
    2.
    Show Some Leg ;)
    It’s not like you’re dead Adam, I’m sure next time I see you I’ll be whipping my white borderline gross legs out just for you Hun

  5. Remember that time I was in your room and I hit my head on the loft? :depressed: Oh wait…that was like every time. Either I’m not short enough, or it’s Miles’s voodoo. :\

    Something about Hafner that I’ll never forget is how hard he laughed the night he was looking at Mullet sites. I never saw what was on the screen because I was watching a movie that he was also suppose to be watching.

    But I remember looking over at his facial expressions every time he saw a new mullet. He’d say, “Oh man….that’s bad” while he was dying laughing. :D

    There are so many Hafner stories, but it would take me forever to write about them. “It is mine..my own…my…preciousssss” (You just gotta hear him say that one!) :bounce:

    That’s all for now. :rolleyes:

  6. my favorite hafner moment is when i enter the room and he gets that look on his face.. you know the one –> where he’s just a little too excited to see you. next thing i know, i’m in big bear hug, my face instantly changes to a “oh my god, what the hell is he doing to me” face. finally, he sets me back down, smiles, and slaps my ass.

    hafner makes me uncomfortable sometimes..

  7. well, i can’t believe its happening, I too look back at the past and reminisce of all the good ol times. I have to acredit some of the things that i do to miles, he has effected me in soo many ways. I mean, without miles i would never have appreciated the guitar so much, i would never have realized that catholics aren’t so bad after all, i would have never gotten to realize what a Krispy was, i would never had experienced a roommate that colored his hair, or fully understood the flexibility of the guitar as an instrument, or how easy it realy is to break a $5 chair, or how destructive an old 5MPH speed limit sign can be, or how exciting a 2 hour trip to a small town to deliver a young freshmen with dirt behind his ears to his parents because he didn’t have a car and his friend forgot to pick him up. Or how about my musical appreciation, i mean without miles i would have never heard of Ben Folds(after he was in Ben Folds Five) or how about the excitement we both got when we realized how great the remix of the song Peaches and Creame was, or maybe how influencial ‘Tuesdays Gone’ can be on a person’s mood, or how great a person miles was even when he is consouling a drunk(besides me) or how great a mechanic miles is when he ‘fixes’ a blown out spark plug by forcing the spark plug back in the hole, or when when he was showing the ‘handy man’ inside by duct taping a foot from his bed to the wall and hanging his coat on it, only for it to fall on the floor 10 mins later, or the multiple times i was miles alarm clock because i would come back after my 11 o’clock class only to wake him up after he missed his first two classes. well, if if come up with more i will post them, but i will let you guys and gals digest this right now. TTYL Miles…..you complete me….Lil Fella…. :D….Got one more great moment, how about the time miles met my mom for the first time, and got to realize how much our parents are alot alike, making fun of us infront of our friends….maybe that’s just me, but i doubt it…I am not going to say good bye because we aren’t finished….not by a long shot, maybe (crosses fingers) miles will move down to my side of the hall

    ….oh, by the way kid, good luck…………..oh by the way doctor….thanks…… :D

  8. well, like i said, i am back with a bit more. How about the Heatvision and Jack episode. ParaGONE jack, get it? ParaGONE….yeah..ha ha ha…..or how about when we rehersed your lines for the play this year? or how about the time when you slept on the floor at the beginning of the school year that was great, everybody would come in and i would look like an room hog because everybody thought that you slept on the floor because i made you. how about your latest invention ‘Strorange’ or your complete hatred of the band Creed. Or the collection of terrible chinese fortune cookies on your door, or how you and jeff mad a mockery of the internet being down by hanging signs on brendans door blaming him. Oh, and how can i forget your influence on me having to do with Canadian Sketch Comedy. did ya see, did ya see, the doctor and me? LOL Or the multiple times you and jeff would write ‘Adam Hafner LOVES THE COCK’ on the table tents in the TC. or how no matter what i said about your mom when you talked with her you would say ‘Adam says he hates you’ instead of what i really said. Oh, and remember the big meal your mom made me when i took you to your house last year? Or how you finally made it clear to me that Nirvana was a great band and that i wasn’t giving them the credit that they never wanted in the first place. LOL and since we are on the topic of giving credit, i should tell everyone that Krispies were a ‘joint’ venture. Get it JOINT!!! LOL wow, i crack myself up. well, time to get going, but it has been great and will continue to be great. See ya tomorrow Miles.

  9. In my own defense, I never wrote a single Anti-Hafner message on those table tents. I guess I have more RESPECT and CLASS than that (Jeff).

    But Hafner does love the cock.

    ~ :ghost:

  10. [ The story that was here involved some very heinous activity with a horse and Mandy. The story was so embarassing that Hafner slapped my ass until I removed it. Sorry Mandy. Sorry Secretariot. ]

  11. Oh man…over the years there have just been so many great Hafner stories that you guys can only dream about. Too many fights, laughs and words to remember. I guess in light of being a good sister, I will just add one not-so-embarrassing story so that my brother won’t completely dissown me. ;)

    When Adam was little he was in baseball, I mean this is when he was young, like 1st grade. He was usually the catcher, occasionally doing other postions too. My dad and I had gone to watch his game. Adam was catching, and I have to admit at the time he was pretty good at it. I don’t remember exactly how it happened, but I know someone hit the ball and my brother had the opportunity to catch the ball and tag the base runner coming into home base. As he tags the runner, the umpire yells, “OUT”. Adam stands there in awe, turns to the base runner and says, “You are A-U-T…OUT!!!!” It was hilarious. :)My dad and I still have not let him live that one down.

    Okay, it was hard, but I finally picked a story that wouldn’t get me into too much trouble…although there were many more to choose from. lol. And I’m sure there will be many more to come.
    :D

  12. Well, in light of my other story getting deleted (Sorry Hafner, but pictures are still available for $500 with contract) I will just have to add a new one. From the time he was a small child, Adam was not into following the rules. One example of this was in Bible School at our church. We were at snack time, which was everyone’s favorite time. Orange Kool-Aid, red Kool-Aide and cookies!!! So many good cookies, and so little time. The rule was “if you touch it, take it”. Well, Adam apparently wanted to take all of the cookies, cuz he touched them all. Kyle, Damon, Cindy, and I all said “Thanks a lot Hafner. You touched all the cookies. Now they all have your germs on them.” Adam just looked at us and ate the cookie he chose. What a bad ass. To this day, he denies he even remembers doing it, but we all know the truth. :ponder:

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