Shock and Yawn

NOTE : missa has a new poem. You should check it out.

Also – I removed the “Shoutbox” area. Um…. apparently it doesn’t work anymore, and instead of figuring out what I did wrong, I just deleted it. I would like to thank steph for telling me. I went to it and, sure enough, clicking “shout” did nothing.

Thanks a lot, guys.

Catch phrases are important. They help to define an activity, a product, or, in this case, a Non-Official War. Look at all the great wars we’ve fought in before and their catch phrases.

  • Revolutionary War : Give Me Liberty or Give Me Death
  • Civil War : Kids, Don’t Fight
  • World War I : Do We Have To?
  • World War II : America to the Rescue
  • Korea : Let’s Just Call This a Conflict
  • Vietnam : The War Hollywood Loves to Hate
  • Desert Storm : Picture Outbreak Minus the Monkey Plus Tanks
  • Afghanistan : The Search For Bobby bin Laden

What’s this war’s slogan? “Iraq : Shock and Awe” Shock and Awe – the last time someone used that slogan they came out of the closet. I’ve heard.

What is with this war? It seems more and more like a high school production. It seems all overly dramatic and craptacular at the same time. Let’s take for instance the catch phrase. Where is all the Shock and Awe? I haven’t heard one word from Sadam going, “Wow, guys. I am at a lost for words. I am shocked and awed.” Maybe *shock* he owns a TV and heard/saw/read us coming. Kinda like Osama did.

But not only can Saddam see us coming, but WE can see us coming. Thanks to the Shock and Awe Webcam! Yes, just what we’ve been waiting for. A technology utilized and perfected in the dorm and bed rooms of so many lonely and/or hottt girls on the internet. See, what the news companies have done is to send the dumbest reporter they have. They put him in a hummer and they give him a video satellite phone, and they put the hummer right behind a tank, for protection.

The result is a series of seriously choppy, blocky shots of dunes. Guess what; Iraq is mostly desert. And if there was a topless girl in that hummer, I bet her boobs would turn out all square. Didn’t think of that, did ya, Fox News? The most exciting thing I saw, besides all the great Iraqi country side (sand), was a camel who stood all by his lonesome in the middle of it all. I’m sure he was confused. Oh, wait. Did I mention that Geraldo is covering this, too?

The only thing weirder than that is the Saddam “Body Double” hubub. I think those guys in the “Recognition Department” of the United States must have been tore up to think that maybe the Iraqi government dressed up another person as Saddam. A body double? How about a clone? That could be it. Maybe the Raelians have been up to more of their nonsense.

I think it really is Saddam. But look at the guy! I heard a comment on the news that after the initial bombings Saddam looked “shaken and stressed.” You think?! Gosh, I’d think that he’d be sleeping perfectly sound right about now. Just like Bush is. So, he comes out looking like he’d just spent a week in a Rave, and it’s the morning after, and he’s just had a Calc 2 final. Look at those glasses? Who’s he trying to fool? We all KNOW he’s not Bill Gates.

Maybe he’s trying the “don’t bomb me or I’ll hack you” approach. That might work in Iraq, but Americans play hardball, bub. I mean, just look what got us into this war.

I’m still figuring that one out. Why ARE we fighting this war? Well, I remember there were inspectors over there. Then, um, we said, “If you’re not careful we’re gonna take you out.” And now we are taking him out.

Am I missing something here? Or did I just make some sort of point? I can’t tell. But I will say this – you can support the troops without supporting the war. I guess, being Catholic, any war the Pope doesn’t support I can’t support either. So, I’ll say this, “Guys, come home safe. We’re praying for you.”

| god bless america |

11 Replies to “Shock and Yawn”

  1. The only thing squarer than those webcam boobs would be the body double Saddam. I was diggin his huge, thick glasses. Nerd Alert!

  2. I like the catch-phrase intro… but I’m surprised you don’t know why we’re fighting the war. The GNP and GDP are down, and elections are, like, soon almost, and Bush hasn’t gotten enough of his toys yet.

  3. well said, Bren. I think we all knew something had to be done (a year+) after 9-11, and even though we all prolly figured this would be it, it’s prolly not the right something to do. i think bush did it to be “the guy that got rid of Saddam.” it was prolly a really dumb move. either that or he’s the dumbest smart person we know. servey says…

  4. i think president bush has our best interests in mind and it’s really getting old hearing people decide why we’re in this war. i know why we’re in this war….do any of you have any idea what led to this war?? it was a TERRORIST ATTACK on the United States….and the terrible thing was that it was succesful. over 3000 people lost their lives in the 9-11 bombing. over 300 of those people were emergency officers….like me.
    i work in the area of domestic security and the people i work with are dedicated and strong. we work terrible hours with difficult people to keep you safe. we do this 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year….just so we can hear you complain when we have to do something drastic to keep you safe.
    no one went into this war thinking that it would be fun. no one went into this war thinking it could get him/her a good seat in office. this is to protect our country and all those who live in it….even those who don’t want us to.

    and, even though it may not be the “trendy” view right now, i fully support our troops and our president. i believe that our freedom is important enough to protect. this country was bought with the blood of the american people and there are still some who believe that it is still worth it….americans live the kind of life they do because of all of the people who are willing to protect it.
    it’s easy to criticize our leaders but, i highly doubt any of those who are so loudly complaining could even remotely take on the resposibilty required and still do as well as our president is doing now…

  5. Two quick comments… a) I’m really curious why people associate the failure or success of the economy with the presidency when history show’s that there is little they can do. b) Miles, its interesting that you say you can’t support this war because the Pope doesn’t, but last time I checked, he wasn’t too supportive of pirating software, yet that hasn’t seemed to slow you down any…

  6. i don’t think i missed anything. i go to guards every month, i email and call the members of my troop that are SITTING down in ft. carson right now. like they have been for the last month. in february, if you would’ve asked my commanding officer where he thought we’d be going, he probably would’ve told you we were going to germany. everyone knew this was coming, but no one~absolutely no one thought it would be this soon. yes, it had to be done, and yes, we gave several warnings to disarm but i don’t think all alternative possibilites were exausted. yes, i’m well aware that people died on 9-11, thanx, but now we have iraqi soldiers dressing in US military uniform and exicuting their own civilians…that makes us look bad over there and it gets way too many civilians killed. we didn’t go over there to kill civilians. we also didn’t go over there so they could make it look like we were setting their oil fields on fire.
    you don’t think i support our troops? they’re my friends and the people i serve with. i just don’t want to see us rush into something like this too soon. the iraqi soldiers are smart ppl. they’re tricky, they’re manipulative, and they’re coniving. could you honestly say that you think we pushed this far by coincidence? you’d be a fool to say so. we haven’t even shaken the cage. doesn’t anyone think that they’re just a tad bit more capable of harm than mearly firing weapons and mortars?
    i’m offended that anyone would think that i’m complaining that we would have to go to war or to think that i don’t support our soldiers. i don’t really look that forward to having to live in a desert, but if it means keeping the life i live the way i live it, keeping my friends and family safe, and keeping my right to say what i want about anyone~INCLUDING the president, i’d do whatever i had to, and i’d execute my mission to the best of my ability and knowledge.
    i don’t think war was a bad idea, i think it was too soon. and i think that’s bush’s doing. but now that we’re there, i can only offer support and hope that i’ll get through training fast enought to be over there. i don’t think that my thoughts about why the president declared war so soon are messed up.
    what i do think is messed up is that people can not know a person and judge their character by looking at just one aspect of one topic that was mentioned. it’s great that civilians support our troops, and i do too. but the next time anyone wants to go off about how someone else is wrong in their thoughts, or how bad it was cleaning up after attacks, maybe they should flip the coin first and think about what the result of all this is going to be.
    it’s not over

  7. missa,
    look at what you wrote in your above post…it does sound like you were on the anti-war band wagon. but, you’re obviously not considering what you’ve just posted….
    and, no, i don’t have to go over to live in a desert. but, i do have to deal with everything that goes on here at home. i’m on duty every time i walk into work….my job is a federal job and we do deal with this war too. we deal with keeping everyone at home safe. we deal with all of the information that the fbi sends to us. we all have to be prepared on protocol to keep homeland security tight. i know that this has been going on for quite a while…like i said we deal with all of the bulletins from the fbi. we know far in advance what’s going on. long before our troops are told and long before the general public is told too.
    but, it still does irritate me to hear people be so ready to place blame on one person. i don’t think this could’ve been done “too soon”. what were we waiting for, another attack? i think we should have done it a whole lot sooner. president bush didn’t have a choice about starting this now…he was backed into a corner and it had nothing to do with wanting to be “the guy that got rid of Saddam”. if you had the fbi bulletins, you would understand that.
    i have several family members currently in the military, some full time and some in the gaurds…3 of them are already over there. others will soon be there too. they are proud that they can be part of this as am i.
    it’s great that you support our troops and it’s great that you’re one of the people that are willing to protect our country. i think being a soldier is a noble profession. but, i also think that, especially right now, our president needs our support as well as our troops. and, i wasn’t judging your character. i was pretty sure you didn’t know what those of us dealing with domestic security know….

  8. assumption, judgement…call it whatever.
    how about we assume that i’ll think what i think, and no one can change that? then we’ll assume that you’ll think what you think, and no one can change that.
    and we’ll just leave it there.

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