So Yesterday Is Right

After fixing my sandwhiches, pouring my root beer, and stealing some pretzels, I sat down to color and eat in front of the TV. I put in a Radiohead CD that Jeff had and thought it would be interesting to watch TV with the CD playing.

In much the same way bad over-dubbed movies do it, I completely replaced the existing sound track with the music on the disc. I tried movies, but there wasn’t anything fitting. I tried some TV shows, but there was nothing interesting.

Dr Bleil says ‘Hi’.

My last stand was music television. I flip to one of them and some bling-worthy rap star and a half is pronouncing his love for buxom bottoms. He shakes jewelery around and pulls at his shirt and he spits curses from between his gold teeth.

Then I saw it. The next video. It featured a girl. She looks like your classic blond-haired, brown-eyed cookie cutter teen singer. Then I realize that I recognize this girl. Her name is Hilary Duffy. She’s the star of the Disney show ‘Lizzy McGuire’ where she plays Lizzy (go figure).

This angered me to no end. “No way!” I shouted (much louder than Radiohead was playing) and forcibly turned off the television. Luckily, my gorilla-like grip didn’t break the remote. My eyes closed, my face turned red. I ranted.

What is it? Is it the actors or the studio? Here is Hilary Duff. She’s a child actor. She’s 16 years old. Her stint as a Disney lead is going quite well for her. Acting came make a person good money. You basically do nothing. You do what we all do everyday of our lives – you lie.

So, this teenage liar makes her fame gracing the screens in between rodentia. She lures thousands of kids every show into believing that her life is typical and teenaged and frustrating. Then wakes up one day and says, “I wanna sing”?

People say, “Why not? It’s all art.” I agree. Acting is art. Singing is art. ‘Lizzy McGuire’ is crap, and ‘So Yesterday’ is crap. There’s a fine line where what you do in front of a camera/microphone isn’t worthless. There is a shaded gray dash that marks off respectible from retarded.

I fail to believe that Hilary Duff has crossed that line. My little sisters may love her but there is a rare chance that she will show up on “Inside the Actor’s Studio” next to the Olsen Twins. God help us, it could happen.

Assuming that she knows where she stands on the timeline of Art and Pfft, how does she think that a singing career is a good idea. It’s a lot of work to sing. You have to act (lie) like you believe what you’re singing about. In her case, topics like ‘boys’ and ‘staying out past ten’ are going to be a staple for the refrains.

You have to make sure that the people put in charge of actually writing the music (read: self-hating art school dropouts) make a good song. If your image is “popular teen girl” then a song like “Down With The Sickness” might belie the facade you were going for.

I suppose a close look at the lyrics (because I never heard the song, per se) is in order.

Here they are :
(So yesterday) (So yesterday) (So yesterday)

You can change your life (if you wanna)
You can change your clothes (if you wanna)
If can change your mind
Well that’s the way it goes

But I’m gonna keep your jeans
And your old black hat (‘Cuz I wanna)
They look good on me
You’re never gonna get them back

At least not today Not today Not today, ‘cuz

If it’s over let it go and
Come tomorrow it will seem
So yesterday So yesterday
I’m just a bird
Thats already flown away
Laugh it off Let it go and
When you wake up it will seem
So yesterday So yesterday
Haven’t you heard that I’m gonna be ok

Ha! Okay

You can say you’re bored (If you wanna)
You could act real tough (If you wanna)
You could say you’re torn
But I’ve heard enough

Thank you
You’ve made my mind up for me
When you started to ignore me
You won’t see a single tear
It isn’t gonna happen here

At least not today Not today Not today, ‘cuz

If you’re over me I’m already over you
If it’s all been done What is left to do
How can you hang up If the line is dead
If you wanna walk out I’m a step ahead
If you’re moving on I’m already gone
If the light is off Then it isn’t on

At least not today Not today Not today, ‘cuz

I haven’t read lyrics this good since I read “Whip It” by Devo. Which I will use to prove my point. Do not act and sing if you are 16 and only doing it for money. You will end up like Devo. Gone forever.

Whip It:
Crack that whip
Give the past the slip
Step on a crack
Break your mommaï¿½s back
When a problem comes along
You must whip it
Before the cream sits out too long
You must whip it
When somethingï¿½s going wrong
You must whip it

Now whip it Into shape
Shape it up Get straight
Go forward Move ahead
Try to detect it
Itï¿½s not too late
To whip it Whip it good

When a good time turns around
You must whip it
You will never live it down
Unless you whip it
No one gets away
Until they whip it

I say whip it Whip it good
I say whip it Whip it good

Crack that whip
Give the past the slip
Step on a crack
Break your mommaï¿½s back
When a problem comes along
You must whip it
Before the cream sits out too long
You must whip it
When somethingï¿½s going wrong
You must whip it

Now whip it Into shape
Shape it up Get straight
Go forward Move ahead
Try to detect it
Itï¿½s not too late
To whip it Into shape
Shape it up Get straight
Go forward Move ahead
Try to detect it
Itï¿½s not too late
To whip it Whip it good

[ rant ]

5 Replies to “So Yesterday Is Right”

John Lennon says:

July 30, 2003 at 9:29 pm

Good Point.
Damn Lizzie.
Bob says:

July 30, 2003 at 9:47 pm

First. Devo was WAY ahead of their time. (sarcasm)
Second. Liz probably didn’t decide she wanted to sing; her marketing team did. She just agreed.

And, no, it doesn’t make it good. It makes it SYNERGETIC!! (with TWO exclamation points)
Mom says:

July 31, 2003 at 8:27 am

and how different is she from the other Disney breakout teeny bopper blonde binbo… Brittney?

i mean bimbo…..
awayken.com | vistan says:

July 31, 2003 at 9:59 am

Don’t you mean Britney?
mom says:

July 31, 2003 at 7:21 pm

correct

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5 Replies to “So Yesterday Is Right”