Southwest Minnesota State University is a wonderful college. Thousands of people travel from all over the world to attend this university. Our college wins awards for its academics year after year thanks to wonderful facilities, resources and teachers. So why is it that at such a high class, technologically advanced, award winning college our internet access is so unreliable in the dorms? That doesn’t make any sense to me.
Chatting over MSN or AIM has become as frustrating as getting stuck behind an old lady in a no passing zone doing 40 in a 65 mph zone. It just makes you punch your monitor and then continue on with what you were doing.
Well I took it a little bit further, and I stress the “Little Bit.” I went to computer services. Computer services can be a little intimidating to the common folk. This place has more computers lying around than California has governor candidates. It made me quite nervous. I spoke to Shawn Headman about the disappointing internet connection in SMSU’s residence halls. He calmed me down and explained that the resident halls are using a cable modem which is five years old. That’s right – when we got this modem Mark McGuire hit seventy home runs in one season. Now he hits seventy miles per hour on his way to bingo. McGuire is retired now, and everyone agrees it’s time this modem is sent to the bench, too.
You may be wondering, “Hey Bryce, sure it’s five years old, but it should still be capable of going a little faster, right?” Well, you are right, it should. So why the slowness? The evil blaster worm, illegal file swapping applications and the amount of computers on campus are all to blame. Back when our modem was new, Napster had not even been created yet and if you had a computer at college you were a huge nerd.
So what are the techies in charge doing about our internet problem? They are tweaking it every few weeks and praying that our new modem is coming soon. Everyone thought the modem would be here before classes started. Now it is all up to leases and lawyers. Talk about fun.
So please, do not burn down computer services and do not leave SMSU because of the slow and unreliable internet. Blame the lawyers. They’re not here to defend themselves.