iCame iSaw iConquered

Ladies and gents. I realize that I have said naught to you in a long while. Life has become a tad bit more hectic. I’d forgotten how much time it takes to keep a girlfriend happy. You’d think she’d be content just to know me, but alas. Now she wants “dates” and “alone time” and “friendship”. This takes up a lot of time that I used to spend crying. I mean, writing on my webpage.

Something else to take up my time is a handy new program. It’s been quite the buzz. The recent news on the interwebnet today is the recent swinger of both sides, iTunes.

Remember Apples? I do. I remember way way back grade school. (Everything I am writing after this point is based on zero research. It’s very possible I don’t know what I’m talking about.) The computer lab we had was row upon row of Apple IIe computers. There they sat, silent and dark, waiting for us to give them food. We would cautiously pick out a piece of software and sit in the cold plastic chairs, facing the monsters. Then one child would go to carefully insert the software when a loud shriek tears through the thin, chilly air in the room.

Apple IIe’s demand the blood of seven-year-olds.

If one were to make one mistake, one would perish like so many before one. I learned to type really well. I also learned that if, while on the Oregon Trail, you get cholera or syphillis, you should stop to rest. Otherwise you will die and have to come up with a witty tombstone saying. It wasn’t that I couldn’t come up with any. Given the family business, I’ve seen my share of witty grave markers, but I didn’t want to die in the game. If I could just hunt all day every day, that would have been a much better game.

Those of us who followed the rules that the mighty Apple hath created walked away with a different feeling. Sure we lost half of our class, but we gained a respect for something we couldn’t fight. That thing is Apple Computers.

Then Apples became Macintoshes (awww, isn’t that cute?) but by the time our families started getting computers, they were all PCs, and they were much nicer than the blood thirsty Apple IIe. Plus, Windows does not require blood to work, only hemoglobin. Hemoglobin 2.0, actually.

So we grew up safe in the comfort of our fallible personal computers. We relished the fact that, if one thing could be counted on, it was a crash, virus, or odd behaviorism. Meanwhile, the minority were building themselves an unstoppable empire. Clutched tightly between the man-hands of a small market share and the bosom of a highly creative work-force.

When they finally resurfaced, the world was introduced to OS X. Boy did people fall in love. Mac Geeks were spotted by the thousands as they all tried to marry their computers and enjoy semi-normal relationships with the new operating system. But Mac OS X is slow to give it up, and so they had to wait for the next two iterations to come.

OS X came with some proprietary music playing/cd burning/cd ripping/playlist creating/crazy image rendering software called iTunes. This is slick software. Apple has this way of making me feel really jealous that I didn’t think of that. I could go on and on about this stuff but you can always read news on the net.

What’s my point?? Just like Windows had done so long ago, Mac is taking control of a market. The way to a man’s heart used to be graphics and marketing. Now the way to a man’s heart is mp3 playing. Music is a huge industry. Everyone listens to music, even Hitler. In fact, Hitler loved music and so did Jesus and Santa.

Everyone needs a program to do play their songs. My program of choice was Winamp. I loved it because it was not forced on me; it was sleek and small and skinable and pluginable. Now I like iTunes. I use it on my main machine, but not on my tablet (because lord knows I only have so much memory to spare).

What two major features does iTunes lack? Skinnability and plugin support. Dmmt, Apple. You make a great product but you limit it. Think of how the PC community would come out of the wood work to support your product if only you had skinning and plugins! Curses! Curses!

Alright, I’m better. It’s not the end of the world. I can skin my winamp and use those plugins and then use iTunes to play my music. Perfect. At least it doesn’t require blood. Now if you’ll excuse me, I must go feed my addictor.

[ iTunes ]

8 Replies to “iCame iSaw iConquered”

  1. “Given the family business, I’ve seen my share of witty grave markers” yeah, I haven’t seen too many gravestones with witty remarks…must’ve been when you and dad went to Rapid City without me because I didn’t wake up in time.

    itunes is sleek, sexy, and syphillis free. And yes mom, even Oregon Trail gives you the occasional STD.

  2. didnt you get disease by going to fast and not eating enough. remeber how you would shoot like 50 buffalo but could only carry 200lbs. what a rip

  3. who is this lennon person. I think it is bryce but he said he would never put any name other than his for the comment?

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