Lusty Wench

I apologize. I know I haven’t been writing much lately. You can blame one girl for all this. Sue Conover. That’s right. Yours truly (Miles Rausch) is once again involved with a theatrical production.

This time instead of putting on the apparel of a Jewish hat maker, I am donning the garb of a wealthy Italian gentleman off to college. DSU is doing its version of “The Taming of the Shrew”.

I play a character named “Lucentio” (pronounced loo-SENT-chee-oh). Lucentio is a wealthy college student. His father has sent him to Padua (pronounced PAJ-ooa), from Pisa (pronounced PEE-zuh), to attend university there. While reveling in the beauty of the countryside, he sees (and falls for) the lovely Bianca (pronounced bee-AWN-ku). Lucentio and his servant Tranio (pronounced TRAWN-ee-oh) learn that the fair Bianca cannot be courted and wed until her UberBeast of a Sister, Katherine (pronounced kath-uh-REEN-uh) is wed. They hatch a plan.

The Lucentio plot is that he pretends to be a Latin Teacher/Tennis Star, Cambio (pronounced CAM-bee-oh). Bianca’s daddy, Baptista (pronounced bap-TEEST-uh), allows Cambio to instruct her. Meanwhile, another Pisan gentlemen, Hortensio (pronounced whore-TENSE-see-oh), is pretending to be a guitarist named Litio (pronounced LEE-chee-oh) with the same scheme in mind.

Dmmt.

They battle for the girl, with Lucentio winning. The infamous Hortensio instead decides to wed a widow played by Quinn Swenson (pronounced quinn-swen-SON), while Lucentio and Bianca enjoy their wedding in the final scene. One other thing that happens is the taming of a person quite shrew-like, but that’s not important because none of those characters are I… me (pronounced MY-uhls).

My guitar, also, will be featured in this monumental mockery of Shakespearean stuff. If I can ever teach Rob how to tune it, it may even sound not too bad up there. He sings terribly, but my guitar sings wonderfully… unless you push down the high e string on the third fret. Ooo, God. That’s awful.

There is a dark side to this play, however. Missed lines, bawfled entrances and erroneous lights, sound, and set have plagued this production from day one. It is as if Shakespeare himself, by his ghostly proxy, is trying to sabotage this work of art. There is an awful lot of n00bs in this play. There is an awful lot of goofing off in this play.

How will the play do?
Will the group pull it off?
Are those the correct phonetic spellings?

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