Guest Post (Telemarketers)

by Bryce Rausch, my brother, who writes for the SMSU (formerly SSU) Impact.

People of Southwest Minnesota State University, we must come together. One of the simple joys in life is sadly at risk and we must do something about it. I am talking about the threat of Do-Not-Call Lists being activated preventing friendly telemarketers to attempt selling products to you and your family. Since this controversy has started, like you, I have just been sick to my stomach. It is as if I have been told my parents quit loving me or that my brother is in love with me. What are we to do?

To start we could all quickly do our best to get on that list as soon as humanly possible. Why so soon? Judges are lining up to strike this �Do-Not-Call List� unconstitutional. Luckily a whopping 50 million people managed to squeeze their names and phone numbers on that list before judges made their ruling.

I think the greatest sign that people are ready for telemarketing to be over would be the length it took congress and President Bush to pass a bill allowing the list, a week. They passed this thing faster than Vanilla Ice�s career started and ended.

I realize many of us have started getting really good at comeback lines for the telemarketers, telling them you had no parents, carrying on conversations for as long as they would allow, trying to convince them you were Amish and of course everyone�s favorite flat out swearing at them. The best part is, they can not swear back! What a great country we live in.

Another great part of the lists is that telemarketers have to respect everyone that�s on the list already, unconstitutional or not, they have to buy the list to see who not to call and if they dare to call those people anyways they are slapped with a large fine. How large you ask? About the price of 2 to 3 books or $11,000.

Now this whole battle is not over yet. Telemarketers have their �Freedom of Speech� arguments while everyone else in the United States argue that they are annoying and should for the love of God leave us alone. The best we have been able to get is the list and a few other legal requirements from the telemarketers. Even if you are happy about these latest developments with our friendly telephone salesmen just remember, the next time you desperately need to change your phone service, get a new mortgage, or have that urge to get another credit card maybe they won�t be so eager to help you out.

[ guest post ]/[ humour ]/[ telemarketers ]

Author: Miles Rausch

I’ve made a smart playlist of all the songs with 0 plays. I listen to them because I feel bad for them not because I like the music. I’m THAT guy.

2 thoughts on “Guest Post (Telemarketers)”

  1. I am waiting for Bryce to write about the shopping season for Christmas and how he doesn’t like it. It should be funny.

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