Well, it’s that time again, when life gets a little weird. It is the time of year that mothers will gladly run you over with their Toys-R-Us shopping cart to grab that last stupid $20 piece of plastic kids call a toy. I am personally not a fan of the Christmas season.
“But Bryce,” you say, “there are a plethora of reasons to love the holiday season, how can you not be a fan?”
Well, random student, my feelings started when I got the flu every Christmas Eve for three years in a row. What can I say? God hates me.
Second, this holiday season tears people apart, sometimes literally. I mean, you never see people dog piling over a stupid “Furby” on Earth Day, do you? And how can you ever forget the disappointed look on the young ones’ faces when they saw you bought them a stapler instead of that stupid doll they wanted so bad. Whiny brats don’t realize how some kid from Canada would kill for a good stapler.
Third, I hate the television programming on Christmas. It’s as if the TV networks got together and have played the ultimate Holiday prank:
“Hey, let’s ALL play “A Christmas Story”!”
So that is why I have been less than pleased with my holiday seasons. What’s better than fighting over that last “A Very *NSync Christmas” CD, watching “It’s a Wonderful Life” 12 times in the same day, and seeing your friends holding back tears when they see the crappy gift you bought them while asking you if you kept the receipt? Oh, I don’t know. Maybe lighting myself on fire.