Why do you need a subject? You should just read it cuz i sent it to you and trust that it’ll make your life feel complete.

This was written by my cousin David, also. He’s kinda getting into this whole comedy writing thing.

Tonite, Ortonville suffered an embarrasing lost to one of our rival towns Milbank. I, David Rausch – I’m sure you’ve all heard of me ‘cuz
i’m famous, played tonite. This was the cause of much celebration among some of the fans, and much celebration within my mind. I bet you the Milbank fans were furious and much afraid of Ortonville’s secret weapon. I am such a secret weapon that almost no one we play
has heard of me. Can you believe that!?

The famous David is not so famous when he becomes a weapon of secrecy.

I am let loose to wreak havoc on opposing teams when our team is in greatest need – mostly when were down by more than 20. I accept my benched role because of my feelings of sadness for the other teams. I wouldn’t want to play a secret weapon like myself either.

Sometimes I am so secret my coach even forgets that I’m there!

When coach looks my way, I know he is not really looking at me, but through me. I am so secret its like I’m not even there! The last 2 games (Milbank included) the secret weapon has been released onto the court.

Its been fun to get back into the flow of playing again. Its weird being seen again after being secret for so long. Whether playing basketball or being a secret weapon, basketball has been fun and i have no qualms being either. My role on the team is to accept what coach does and believe that it is for the good of the team. If secret weapons need to stay secret than thats alright with me, I can still have a good time.

If the secret weapon continues to be unleashed, hopefully I can drop the bomb on opposing teams (make a basket) and create disruption within their minds and/or soul or souls if they have more than one.


Either way I am content and love doing nothing as much as I like doing something.

Enjoy. If you don’t laugh, i have failed in my purpose of writing it and have wasted more of my life than is acceptable. It has made me realize how tired i am and that i have no real life.lol

David Rausch

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