The One Where m!les Lost All His Hair

Self-Portrait
Self-Portrait, originally uploaded by m!les.

I think I use the ! in my name to show just how excited I am about loving life. Okay. I couldn’t keep a straight face while typing that.
Notice anything in this picture? My hair is nearly all gone. How could this happen? We were just getting use to the beard thing. Well, here’s the story.

I went to trim my beard yesterday morning. On my trimmer I use a setting of 2 to trim my beard. This usually works pretty okay, but I think my trimmer is fairly cheap, so it creates some issues. For one, I get these weird feathered wings out where my jaw joins to my skull. No matter how many times, or how hard, I try trimming that area, it never works out. Another problem area is my mustache. It never seems to get trimmed down enough to how I like it. This was the case yesterday.

To remedy the problem, I set my trimmer to setting 1 and did just the mustache. Big mistake. Now I looked like I was wearing fake facial hair (and thought I was getting away with it), so I brought the whole damn thing down to setting 1. Bigger mistake. Now I looked homeless. I thought, what if I trim down my cheeks a little, make it a class, thin looking beard. Well, that might have worked except I wasn’t so expert at shaving down and my right side was missing a strange notch near my chin.

That’s it, I thought, and I shaved it all off. So, I’m clean shaven, again, in winter, again. At least it’s staying warm right now. With the suddenly missing jaw hair, I decided it was time to schedule a hair cut, too. You guys know my style – 1/4″ on the sides and 1/2″ on the top. So, all in all, I have so much less hair that I hardly have hair at all. However, eating supper with Holli and David, David came to the conclusion that sometimes your hair gets so long that it falls out. So, if you grow your hair out really long, you go bald. I know it sounds counter-intuitive, but it’s totally true.

So, be warned, the next time you see me, I might look way different. Don’t say anything; that’ll hurt my feelings. Just smile and be nice, and, if you can’t handle it, walk away slowly and never talk to me again.

Author: Miles Rausch

I've made a smart playlist of all the songs with 0 plays. I listen to them because I feel bad for them not because I like the music. I'm THAT guy.

7 thoughts on “The One Where m!les Lost All His Hair”

  1. Welcome to the Almost Bald Head Club or A.B.H.C. You will recieve your membership card in the mail along with a packet explaining your member ship. We meet every Thrusday. It will be nice actually having a second person atending. It will be your turn to bring treats since i brought the last few hundred times. once again WELCOME!

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