Nice Guy Post

Bryce, Happy
Bryce, Happy, originally uploaded by m!les.

You may have noticed that my little bro posted a sentimental, sappy sort of sayōnara post on his website today. He said some awfully nice things about me (and a lot of other people), and I didn’t even pay him off (or anything-else-him-off, either). So I decided to post back. But, I’m not going down the list of commenters or close friends and naming you and dedicating things to you. This is just a response. You guys all mean a lot to me, too, so I don’t want any pissy comments. I friggin’ mean it.


What can I say about the guy who was my first and closest friend. We’ve had good times. From inventing (with the help of cousins) our own Super Hero series (which I still would like to make a literary reality), to driving all of our babysitters nuts (including our Aunt Sue), to developing a successful TV series, group short story (with Dan), and countless impromptu indie films (actually, I think it’s like 3). We’ve had bad times, too. Nasty fights over chores, honest wishes that the other person would reside in Hell, throwing tile at each other for an audience (which Pete still brings up), and even a stabbing or two.

I can honestly say that I wouldn’t be the person I am today if not for you. You made me simultaneously more responsible and more deviant, as I usually had to clean your messes but you inspired make messes, too. You had the balls to try out horribly profane and disgusting jokes on others, and I learned from those mistakes and consciously tried to create a “classier” brand of humour for myself. But you also were my first audience. And we subconsciously developed the joint motto of “anything for a joke”, when usually the joke was for our enjoyment only.

I look back on our past, and I think that a little thing like you moving away isn’t going to change anything. There’s internet and phone calls and plane rides. No, no. This is just a beginning. This gives a whole new state to take over. And over there they might think your abortion jokes are tame.

You may be the stupid one who loves cheese and lighthouses, but I guess what I’m trying to say is that I love you, bro. And I mean that in a gay way.

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