It’s Training Men 1

But, Miles! You already made a post with this name! Shouldn’t this be number 2? Well, obviously, the first post was It’s Training Men 0, but in addition, the 0 is the identity, and it’s understood, and therefore not written, just like the “you” that goes before every command: (You,) stop eating lead, (You,) stop eating crayons, and (You) are ugly.

Pictures from this work trip are in my It’s Training Men set.

Friday, 09 Feb 2006

Take a guess – yes, today was yet another day. There’s really nothing much to report. I was quite a bit more sociable, having several (that is, more than one) willing (that is, not forced) conversations with people I didn’t really know. Was I expanding? Was I feeling brave with this being my last day in California? Or was I so bored I was driven to it?

For lunch I had cashew chicken stir fry. It was great, and I love eating with chopsticks. It was raining so I ate indoors next to a guy in my class. We talked about Hyperion and PeopleSoft and the Midwest because he was from Nebraska.

When classes were all over, I called a taxi. I’ve never been sure how to feel about taxi drivers. They look pitiful. Most of them speak with thick Middle-Eastern accents, they spend all their work day in a car driving around people who may or may not be nice or friendly or helpful. But, I think that they also might play people up for more money, using their ethnicity and lack of language skills as a device for getting more money from the cab user who simply wishes to get to his or her destination. I had this happen the other day. We finally (finally!) got to my destination, and I asked about a credit card payment, and he asked me how much I wanted to make it for. I said, “What?” And he said, “12? 13?” I had watched as, while I sat there waiting for him to fill out the credit card slip, the cost went up nearly seventy-five cents. I pretended to not understand what he was doing and just said, “13” because that was the number that was on the meter, knowing full well that, as an out-of-towner, I have no idea how these taxis work.

Today’s taxi ride wasn’t like that, but it was remarkable in another aspect. I noticed as I approached the taxi, that my driver had an unusual device on the side of his head. Once in the car, I realized what I saw: my taxi driver had his Motorola Razr connected to a Bluetooth headset. I didn’t feel bad asking him to do credit card (“Well, I’m here on business, and they said I should really use my credit card instead of cash”), and he dealt with it promptly and gladly.

Now I’m watching Futurama, trying to finish up Season 2 before I head home. I’m microwaving pizza on hand towels because I don’t have plates, and I’m going to try to finish up my ice cream, too. How about one last quote.

Cashier: That’ll be forty cents.
Fry: I believe you’re forgetting about our five percent military discount.
Cashier: Well, that’s only for people in the military.
Bender: What?!
Fry: Huh?!
Bender: This is the worse kind of discrimination: the kind against me.
Cashier: Alright, look. Our policy is, if for any reason you’re not completely satisfied, I hate you.
(Hits a button and Fry and Bender are ejected from store)
Bender: Okay. Now I’m mad.
Fry: Full price for gum? The dog won’t hunt, Monsignor.

Thursday, 08 Feb 2006

It’s sad, but the reason I decided to post is because I heard a funny Futurama quote that I wanted to share. I’ll write about my day, first.

I woke up.

TV Commercial: Is today’s hectic lifestyle making you tense and impatient?
Bender (screaming): SHUTUP AND GET TO THE POINT!
TV Commercial: Then come live out the carefree days of yore in Past-o-rama!

My first duty after waking up was to get a cab. I managed to secure one for 8:40am. I went down, got something to eat and drink, and my cab was early. We made the trip (correctly this time) to Hyperion. He even knew that I was going to Hyperion, which was nice. Unfortunately, I forgot to get a receipt. Hopefully that won’t come back to haunt me (set up to some joke a couple days from now).

The day was predictably boring. It was a lot of watching Troy do his stuff, and very little of us doing any sort of stuff. I tried to entertain myself. Lunch was okay. I had a marinaded salmon sandwhich that I ate outside. Two people from my class saw me eating outside (while the temps have dropped and rain was starting to fall), and one of them said, “You must be from a colder climate,” and the most clever thing I could manage to say was “Yup!”

The rest of the day was as has been. I had to call a cab to leave, which required calling more than one company, and I briefly flirted with the idea of figuring out how the trains work. It seemed it would be a long walk to the train and from the train, and I wasn’t entirely sure it was possible.

Back here, I eventually ordered pizza, chatted with Tony, talked to Holli, and watched The Office and Scrubs and then Futurama. Usually I go out a little on my balcony, but tonight wasn’t the weather for it. At least I’m getting out of here just as it’s getting colder and rainier.

Bender: Wait. You mean people will pay good money for romance? Hmm… I think I have a plan so deviously clever that I-
Jump cut to judge slamming gavel.
Judge: Five-hundred dollars and time served!
Bender: Stupid anti-pimping laws. (to Leela) Well, pay the man!
Hookerbot: Bender, honey, we love you!
Bender: Shut up, baby, I know it!

The joke’s mostly in the way Bender says his last line, but you get the jist.