Why Being Incredibly Lonely Can Sometimes Be Super Awesome

People really discredit being lonely. With such a large assortment of “social” websites (see Facebook, MySpace), it’s sometimes hard to remember that people used to physically hang out with other people, once upon a time. But, why is there such a focus on being social on and off the internet? It’s because people don’t remember how to be lonely. They don’t recall how much fun it was sitting in your room, drawing fake tattoos on your arms, listening to The Cure (or Linkin Park), while writing love poetry to the wife you haven’t met yet.

Let’s explore the ways that being incredibly lonely can sometimes be super awesome.

  1. Lots of time to think to and about yourself
    • You can file everything as “me time”, because it is!
    • You don’t have to waste valuable time “finding yourself” because that’s what you’re doing 24/7
    • You can exhaustively play over your largest or tiniest foibles over and over and over
  2. You cherish the time you spend with other people
    • Family and friends become floating debris in an endless, black sea of nothingness
    • You no longer think in terms of “Do I really want to go to that?” and start thinking in terms of “Dear God, Please Invite Me!!”
    • Every minute with people who can stand you in their vicinity is worth its weight in gold (which is hard to measure, but worth it)
  3. Crying is your body’s way of leaking lonely
  4. Hobbies need love and attention, too
    • All that time alone will let you perfect your unparalleled knowledge of lightsaber martial art forms
    • Mozart didn’t get good at guitar by being social; he was born really good, so he didn’t have to practice much
    • Who says video games and chat rooms are waste of time? Not lonely people like you!
    • Learn to stalk; it will come in handy (trust me!!)
  5. Everyone loves a mopey-dopey
    • You’ll spark conversations that start with “Why [the $%&!] are you so mopey?” and end with “I’m never going to talk to you again!” (said by you to them, in a huff)
    • You’ll have everyone’s shoes memorized
    • Death, misery, and suffering are topics that you’ll be able to speak on endlessly
  6. The music is awesome
    • Lyrics can say what your heart knows as the poetry of loneliness; like cut my life into pieces / this is my last resort / suffocation / no breathing / don’t give a (doo-honky) if I cut my arms bleeding
    • You can learn to play most of these songs on your guitar, assuming you can learn three or four bar chords (lolz)
    • Your parents will appreciate that you play that one song on repeat, as they get a chance to memorize its hatefulness, too

So, you see, being lonely has its up sides. A capitalistic society puts a primary focus on being “number one” or “standing out from the crowd”, which promotes a solitary lifestyle. These people then find success (or at least money; rarely happiness), and they push that same lifestyle upon their friends, relatives, or (worst) children, which proliferates the cycle. This system of cycle-proliferation only serves to further the cause, which is great (!) for those of us desperate to have more lonely people around.

Remember: when friends and family have given up / loneliness will fill you up / with loneliness.

10 Replies to “Why Being Incredibly Lonely Can Sometimes Be Super Awesome”

  1. This is sarcasm? I’m living it, man. There is currently one stoplight in the entire county that I live in! One stoplight! I also can’t understand the locals around here, and since I don’t eat a lot of their food…I’m lost?!? No but seriously…whats up?

  2. Evertime the sun goes down I feel the light betray. And then I say the prayers of hate that remind me how worthless and alone I am.

  3. Mar 9th, 2007 at 1:15 pm

    I can’t believe a Scrubs line inspired this.
    lol! i saw this on scrubs and thought “why not google this and see what comes up?” good thing i did.

  4. i heard this quote in a scrubs eposide, and i thought that it was awesome. becuase this summer i have seen my friends soo much almost every day and i just thought that i would take a day for myself. because i can. hahah soo thank you for this article. it was greattt.

    peaceout.

    “life is party what we make it, and partly what is made by the friends whom we chose.”

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