SIOUX FALLS, S.D. — The Miles Rausch family, of Sioux Falls, SD, would like to make the following announcement: don’t get us anything for Christmas™. They do not request this out of hatred or ill-will of their Internet fan-base, friends, or family. They would like to stress how much they love their Internet fan-base, friends, and family. This comes, rather, as a further indicator of the troubling financial and economic times that we live in. Christmas™, the couple adds, isn’t about presents so put the wallet down already.
They would also like to announce, at this time, that they will be drastically scaling back their own gift-giving. The family estimates that more that three hundred presents will lose their jobs to keep the family in the black. Sources close to the couple say that they are limiting present bestowals to siblings, parents, and possibly grandparents.
Wife, Holli Rausch, added, “These announcements were hard for us to make. One thing we haven’t considered is just how overwhelmingly awkward every day of the rest of our lives is going to be now. But we’ll just have to live with that or get new friends.”
To stem the backlash from the announcement, the Miles Rausch family has begun a Christmas™ letter which could be ready for online distribution as early as March of next year.