This week is a big one for birthdays: Cari Gregg, Aunt Kelly, Lindsey, and Holly Davidson. If I weren’t exhausted, I’d write something specific to each of them. Something like, I’m sure Bryce’s birthday present to Lindsey was a murdered hobo. I’d also imply, without stating outright, that my Aunt Kelly is fifty years old. Then I’d spend the rest of the time trying to come up with clever things to say for the other two, and they probably wouldn’t be as good.
That said, I’d do all that if I weren’t exhausted right now. As it is, I’ll just say, “Happy Birthday,” and go on my way.