Category: Art

i have so much to say
but words of fog escape
it was a perfect day
but my emotional rape

i reach for snow flakes
who tell what to write
but for all it takes
i can ‘ t clear my sight

angst and questions
blasphemy of soul
masochist suggestions
words take their toll

mirrors : own to cut
fasces : cut to buy
people : asking what ?
and i : asking why .

order or entropy
i knew which it was
the universe’s canopy
between it and us

grammar a n d s p a c i n g
Personality and conversation
My emotions are still racing
But closer to elation

thank you

I want to be interesting. Jill said that I’m interesting already, but I must not be interesting enough. The way I figured it, girls flock over interesting guys, and no one’s flocking over me.

I guess Jeff had the same ideal, because he said, “You know, the chicks really dig interesting guys. Brad Pitt is interesting, and so is Einstein, and they are both famous and both get the chicks.” I thought about correcting Jeff, and telling him that Einstein wasn’t that famous, but I didn’t. I decided to figure out what makes someone interesting.

If we analyze Brad Pitt and Arnold Einstein, and if we consider them interesting, then we learn this about interesting people:

1. They are thin (or muscular)
2. They can act
3. They develop mathematical theories
4. They’ve never heard of Bryce Rausch (there, you’re in my post – quit annoying me)
5. They know interesting people
6. They may (or may not) have a personal webpage
7. They do interesting things

That’s it. Really. Just seven things. I feel so enlightened, though. And you can replace the names “Brad Pitt” and “Albert Einstein” with any names of interesting people. You can also replace the name “Bryce Rausch” with any name of an annoying person, or even your own brother.

The point is that Jeff and I decided we had to do something. Interesting people who are less famous usually have interesting websites. These websites mirror their lives. My site is okay, but in order to be an interesting person, you have to have pictures of your interesting life. Otherwise, how will people know it was you doing those interesting things? And I can’t put pictures on this site; it’s getting old! Exactly!

For this reason, a new site will shortly come into existance. We will call this “Guyswithlives.com” (we’re even going to buy the domain) and we’re planning on having more than one author. Thus, more than one guy with an interesting life. Therefore, guys with lives. Get it? Not just “Lazydesert” and not just “Awayken.” It would be “LazyAwaykenDesert.netcom/” or “guyswithlives.com”. Do you see where I’m going with this?

To continue my research, I figured out that these same people (who I’m studying) are also partly interesting because of what they say. They have interesting words. These words perk your … interest. They make you sit up and say, “Waaaa?” (which isn’t an interesting word by the way). They use words like “Sex” and “Free” which usually make people listen.

Other words are:

• Culture
• Biohazard
• Zoolander
• Satan
• Plethora
• Awayken
• Lazydesert
• Collin
• Not Collin

and

• Culture

and, also,

• Fingers (thanks Jeff)

So, I plan on using these words a lot more Satan. Hopefully some Awayken chicks will notice my Not Collin and decide to Culture with me.

Fingers Fingers, Zoolander!

By they way, good luck to everyone taking tests today. I hope you all Collin it. Plethora face :)

Today was a long day. I was tired all day, and wanted nothing better than to sleep my emotions into oblivion. I get moody when I get real stressed. I need to keep busy, but if I get too busy, then that’s bad, too. Just around play time, I seem to get hit hard. Plays tend to stress me out, but I love doing it. So, I’ve been unusual today. I didn’t even talk to Ayelet today.

So, actually, right now I’m close to comatose, but I came up with this idea on my way to band, and I figured it had potential. I hope it makes you laugh and brightens your day.

P.S. I made it into the Madison Paper! So much publicity lately. Make sure you check out the play on November 1,2,4,5,6 at 8:00 pm up at the Dakota Prarie Playhouse! It should be a great night of theatre.

And now …

:) Does this remind you of you? Do you do things like smile, hug people, or smile? Do your friends call you “Happy Pants”, “Mr. Smiles” or “Joyball”? Well, then I have the solution.

With my patented, copyrighted ©, and trademarked ™ (internationally) guide to becoming unhappy, you will be unhappy in minutes. The secret is in my patented, copyrighted ©, and trademarked ™ (internationally) techniques.

Like this : :(. If smiling makes people happy, and frowns are the opposite of smiles, then frowns can make you unhappy. Think of it. There are millions of muscles that make up a smile – if you wear them out, they can break and cause hemorrhaging! No one likes hemorrhaging.
On the other hand, frowning uses only one muscle – the lip! And your lips are made of plastic, so they will never break and cause hemorrhaging. Thank God, huh?

How often do you see a Doctor, Lawyer, or other professional smiling when they see you? All the time. This is because they are thinking of happy things, like all the money they’re going to make off of you, or the weird things they are going to leave in your body during the surgery. You don’t have to succumb to the same fate – think Holocaust. Think WTC. Think COBOL and Yanni – for eternity. Any sort of death theme is appropriate. For ideas, you can ask a particularly “goth” looking friend. Jeff Gabhart on the Zimmermann 3rd floor, for example.

This will surely change your mood. Giving me money – for no other reason than just because – will turn the gayest Gayperson into the ungayest Gayperson, to be sure. (No offense to real life Gaypersons – you guys are great. Love the colors.)
But you don’t just have to give me money for no reason – you can give me money for the “Guide to Becoming UnHappy”!

If you send me anywhere between $5 & $5 , 000 , 000 and I’ll send you this:

• One photocopy of a printout of this ad, including a forged signature from me!

You’ll also get:

• See above

It’s that simple.

Who wants to wear out the Happy emotion? No one! That is why you should buy my guide today. Don’t crack a Smile – Crack a Frown!

(For a limited time only, because this is way illegal)