Star Wars


Last night around 3:30 or 4 in the afternoon I got a cell phone call. It was Karin Anderson, or Karin as i call her.

David,”Sup dawg?”
Karin, “You are so weird.”
David,”Cuz I’m white? Whatever!”
Karin,”Let’s watch Star Wars and eat stuff!”
David,”Your weird but that sounds like a good idea.”

That started what would become a night of total awsomeness.

Well, people started coming to my house from all over the galaxy kind of like Field of Dreams. Actually, it was exactly like Field of Dreams. Only I was smart enough to call up my buddy Chuck Norris to roundhouse kick everybody not my friends in the face. They all went home with matching bootmarks on their faces leaving me and my friends alone.

Well, Chris Fellows and Tyler Rolfes showed up first. We started reminiscing about the days of old and then we remembered how one day we made an Ortonville Punk’d video. We found the video and watched. Hilarity insued. The victims punk’d and scarred for life by this event were Chris Smith, Kelsey Watkins, and Karin Anderson.

Then, when Kelsey and Karin arrived we watched Episode IV. This means 4, Molly. Afterwards we ordered a pizza and then waited about 20 minutes for it to be done. During this time Steph became the center of attention. That’s always fun. Oh yeah, Chris Smith was there by then.

Well, Tyler and I went on a quest to get the pizza. This was the toughest ride to Ortonville EVER! All of Chuck Norris’s roundhouse kicked victims were angry and wanting a piece of us. Fortunetly for us, it was foggy out and everbody kicked by my buddy Chuck had become mentally challenged. At Pizza Ranch we found an ally in Megan Croatt who was able to get our pizzas quickly. We talked to her, made her day, and left. The trip home flew by and just like that in nothin flat we were back.

I walked into the house to find everyone downstairs watching Episode V. That means 5 molly. The movie went pretty badly. It never changes, C-3PO gets shot to pieces, people are tortued, Han gets encased in Carbonite, Luke doesn’t seem to understand anything Yoda says, Yoda gets depressed and sad, and then Vader cuts off Luke’s hand. Nobody is happy. Except for Vader I guess. I’m happy for him.

After the end of that movie everybody hung around for a while. We talked, shot hoops with my Little Tykes hoop, and then I figured I might as well put in my wrestling movie from the 2nd grade just for something to watch. Well, needless to say, I think the guys kind of liked it cuz I dominated and even appeared to have injured a kid, and the girls couldn’t get enough of it because, hey, it’s me in tights. Kelsey and Karin, you really need to get your mind out of the gutters. I mean, I was really young.

Then after sitting around and realizing it wasn’t even 10:30 yet I asked people what they wanted to do. Fellows left, and Karin said she’d watch the Return of the Jedi, and Kelsey and Chris were both tired but decided to stay for a while and watch. Well, they left partway through so our party of 6 was a party of 2. It should be noted that Tyler left for college as soon as we returned from with the pizza.

Episode VI turned out to be really really good like it always does. The Ewoks were a huge hit. This is a fairly happy movie. Chewbacca meets his long lost, shorter kin, Han realizes that Leia truly is his princess, Luke gets to cut off his father’s hand in retaliation to Episode V, Vader finally finds himself by killing some Emperor dude, and some Chinese guy made the film. Way to go you Chinese guy! Karin really enjoyed this one. Molly, VI means 6. I think Return of the Jedi was the Karins favorite out of the 6, but I don’t know for sure. Just for the record, 6 is one of my favorites.

Karin said she thought they were pretty good overall and she was glad that she had seen them. I’m glad she liked them because I think, for most people, unless you’ve grown up with Star Wars, its just kind of a weird movie that people don’t really get into. For those who grow up with it it’s kind of on a shelf all by itself or only accompanied by the truly great movies of all time. Such as Zoolander. No, maybe not. Magnum is a pretty wicked awsome look though.

Well, that was the last thing of vacation for me. It was freakin sweet and thanks you to all who were a part of it.
Peace Out Dawgs!

A Long Long Time Ago in a Galaxy Far Far Away there were two people talking to each other. In this casual conversation Star Wars came up.
“What!?” I said.
“You’ve never seen Star Wars!?” I said.
I don’t remember her reply, but I’m guessing it goes something like this.
“Nope. Never.”
Then I said something. “But. But you sayed ‘May the Force be with you’ to me when we were bowling. I thought you had seen the movies.”
I’m not sure those were my exact words and I’m also not sure of her answer but it was probably along the lines of “(LOL) I know, but I’ve never seen the movies.”

Karin Anderson, or Karin, as I like to call her, has been the sheltered friend I had the above conversation with. I mean, I know I’M a sheltered boy and I’ve been called that a lot by friends and family alike(especially in college), but not seeing Star Wars is like having diarrhea and holding it in. Why would you do that? It doesn’t make sense, your life would be so much better if you went to the bathroom just like it would be better having watched Star Wars.

Now, we’ve talked quite a bit about watching them sometime, but it never happened. Over time the list has grown to include other movies such as the Incredibles(my brothers and sisters can pretty much quote the movie), Runaway Jury, The Italian Job, Harry Potter 3, and others. It first started in HS, then we talked about it during summer, and the next thing you know, Bam! I’m in college. We talked about it some more later on when she came down to Madison and it was decided I’d call whenever I came back home. I did most of the time but it never worked out. Then came Christmas break.

Tuesday the 27th Karin, Chris Smith, Kelsey Watkins, and Tyler Rolfes were over at my house to watch Star Wars. Finally! The big debate beforehand was whether to start with the old ones(IV, V, VI) or start with the new ones(I, II, III) – Molly if your reading this, i’m sorry about the Roman Numerals cuz I know you have a tough time with them but don’t worry, I’ll explain it to you. IV-4 V-5, and VI-6. I-1, II-2, and III-3. There ya go.

Should we go with the newer ones with better graphics but bad acting and a terrible dialogue or go with the better acting better dialogued, but older Star Wars? My decision was to go with the oldies thinking that is how most people started out and then she’ll be suprised by things that would be ruined otherwise. Talking to Dan, he said to start with the newer ones and since I didn’t care and Karin didn’t care about which ones to watch first, I went with Dan’s definite answer.

That night we watched I and II. I don’t really care for either of them, but it was pretty fun watching them with everybody I thought. It turned out that Kelsey had never seen most of them either so she was in for the best time of her life. Karin actually ended up guessing a lot of the things right. She knew the Senator for Naboo was the Emporer in Star Wars I by the shape of his mouth. I was happy because she made fun of Jar Jar Binks. As a group, we found out that Jedi love to rape people. Anybody. Men, women, children. If somebody asks you if you want to see their lightsaber, say “No!” and run. It is not what you think it is. On the other hand, you might as well just say “Yes” to see their lightsaber cuz they are Jedi and you can’t run. You’re screwed. Sucks to be you.

We also discovered you can tell if a Jedi is bad or will be bad by the color of his cloak. If it is black then that person is going to be evil or is evil. Black is such a depressing color, no wonder they go bad. They prolly listen to downer music too.

Then on Wednesday Karin, Tyler, and I watched Runaway Jury which was extremely good. There were a ton of actors that I had seen before in it and a lot of actors I liked. I’ve never been a big fan of Gene Hackman for some reason but it’s not really his fault. You see, I think as a child I was scarred. When I was little I saw Hooser’s but I didn’t like it. So whenever I think about Gene Hackman I get the feeling of how I feel about Hooser’s. Every movie I’ve seen him in he does a fantastic job and I like him during the movie, but just seeing his name on a movie doesn’t really excite me. So if i see him in a movie, i like him, but if I just think about him or see his name in some commercial for a movie I don’t get the best feeling.

Then Kelsey and Chris came over and we watched Episode III. Kelsey left a bit before the end because she had to get home and Karin fell asleep partway through. She looked drained but somehow managed to stay awake for the rest of the movie. I was impressed.

All in all I think Karin is a new person now that she has seen the movies. I think she kind of suffered through them which I think built character which was what I was going for all along. She now knows about the force and the danger of lightsabers. Those things kill.And rape. Stay away from black robes. People who’s mouths look untrustworthy should be avoided because they are probably Sith Lords. Dwight. 129$.

It should also be noted during the movie I said, “Anikan can make a woman climax just by pointing at her and saying “Boo-ya!” HAHAHAHA! – i thought it was funny.