Thu 19 Jan 2006
It was a beautiful day with a temp that could almost be said to be a bit too chilly but with a sort of perfection to it. The sun was out and the wind itself was quiet in awe of the ever growing, blooming flower of a day. It was the last class of the day and nothing could be going better for David Rausch as he walked up the steps of the Community Center. But even with all this, he could not shake his bout of uneasiness. The only reason he was not in full panic mode was that his friend Caitlin Spors was at his side heading for the same destination.
If we were a bird flying after them we’d see David and Caitlin enter through clear glass doors heading towards the front desk. Then, because we’re birds and we’re kinda made to be noisy and entertain old ladies and not made to think, we would have run right into the door. This suprising impact most likely would have broken our necks leading to paralysis and death, but not before some beautiful girls cried over our injured bodies. Our last glance up would have seen David and Caitlin making their way up the stairs. This last glance up probably would have hurt so badly we have yelled but all would come out would be a chirp which, instead of attracting the ladies, would attract the attention of a cat. Game Over.
Going up the stairs they ran into the running track, with the coat area on the other side of the track around the corner. The sound of heavy breathing could be heard from somewhere around the corner and then the pounding of feet could be felt. Much to David’s suprise Caitlin stepped out onto the running track to cross over. He had not choice but to use the force to lift her out of harms way. Then he had to pull out his wand and erase everybodies memories. Wow, talk about a chore.
After they got out of their sweats into their Step Aerobic clothes, they set out to find the room. Around the running track they ventured looking into different rooms as they went. Finally, after seconds of awkward lostness they found the room. They opened up the door with a silent dread, and nothing could prepare poor little David for what his eyes beheld next.
Girls. The room was packed with women and this music was just blarring and there were girls everywhere. David’s was expecting it, but walking into that room felt very weird to him. Instantly David put on his Blue Steel look so as to captivate the women. David and Caitlin started over to the other side of the room where they picked up their little step that they used to step on and found a spot on the floor to put it. David was near the wall in front of a window that connected to the weight room so all the weightlifters could see his face. His RA was standing their and the two saw each other through the window, exchanged looks, and then both started laughing. Then David turned on magnum and his RA started crying because it was so beautiful.
The instructor introduced herself and then asked who was taking this class for credit and those who were in there just for fun. Well, much to David’s dismay, only about half the class was there on for credit. David felt proud as he raised his hand claiming that he was taking the class just for credit. The reason for this proud feeling was the fact that by raising his hand he was making a statement “I am not gay.” If you doubt, David did not ask for an Elton John book from his mom, but Ben Folds (see david’s post “Busted” and comments).
Step Aerobic class started and right away David felt very out of place. Step Up, Step Down, Step Up, Step Down. The teacher was moving her arms around and just doing that felt very awkward and weird for David. As the class went on he learned more complicated stepping patterns such as Step Up, Knee Up, Kick Out, Step Side, Kick Left, Step Up, Step Down. There were many other things having to do with Rumbahs, pivots, shuffling and many other things. It took some time, but by the end David had mastered many of the complicated step moves. He was quickly going from Step Aerobic Apprentice to Step Aerobic Master.
During these periods of stepping were also little periods of stretching the legs by having one foot on the step and the other stretched way back. David is not flexible and that really pulls on the ACL. Halfway through the class they had their first break and David was drenched in sweat. He got a drink, conversed with Caitlin, and then got right back into it. After a few minutes they stopped stepping, the weights came out and they did weight excersises, and then later they used a medicine ball to work the abs.
Many friends found out about David’s Aerobic Stepping abilities and now Aerobic Stepping is now one of the coolest things ever. Sucks for many people cuz the class is full. He became like Matt Leinhart and Ballroom dancing. David was already famous and now he’s put Aerobic Stepping on the map. Boom-baby!
January 19th, 2006 at 8:32 am
if this class doesn’t get you laid, quit trying.
January 19th, 2006 at 9:43 am
RA started crying because it was so beautiful.
“I am not gay.”
Funny post dave, keep it up.
January 19th, 2006 at 11:04 am
Good thing David didn’t listen to Holli on dropping this lab to take racquetsports later. David sounds like a ladies’ man now. Some ladies anyway.
January 19th, 2006 at 11:43 am
Matt Leinhart didnt need his ballroom to get in with the ladies…I think he is ok at football too. And about those “beautiful” girls, I didnt know they existed at DSU.
January 19th, 2006 at 11:50 am
Yeah, you let them have it Getto!
January 19th, 2006 at 1:02 pm
Your so-called “transformation” into a ladies man, makes me doubt the “ladies” that are attending your school. However, if they are the ladies shown in the above picture, that might explain quite a bit. But I hope those elastic leggings to show off the beautiful bod are workin’ for ya. Very sheik.
January 19th, 2006 at 3:15 pm
Ouch, “Ghetto Bill”. It stings.
January 19th, 2006 at 4:33 pm
Reading this was the highlight of my day, Davey. Very funny!
January 19th, 2006 at 6:09 pm
HEY NOW! was that comment about the DSU girls necessary “Ghetto Bill”? That hurts!
January 19th, 2006 at 6:13 pm
Lol, haha, I dont even know what to say. Nice pick though. You should hook me up with some spandex too.
January 19th, 2006 at 8:29 pm
the above comment is not me (David)
January 20th, 2006 at 11:38 am
Sorry dave, it was me, you were still logged on to my computer.
January 20th, 2006 at 1:08 pm
Considering you are majoring in graphic design, one would think that you could photoshop a better image of yourself. What are they teaching you at that school??
January 20th, 2006 at 2:56 pm
I’m sorry, i was wrong. Those girls you are with are beautiful. Go for the one in blue Dave.. Get er done!!
January 20th, 2006 at 5:51 pm
lol.She’s prime meat!
January 21st, 2006 at 11:17 pm
By the end of the year, you’ll be Step Aerobic Jedi. Maybe, with practice, you can be Ste Aerobic Chuck Norris Super Jedi.
No. Only Chuck Norris can be that.