Thu 29 Dec 2005
A Long Long Time Ago in a Galaxy Far Far Away there were two people talking to each other. In this casual conversation Star Wars came up.
“What!?” I said.
“You’ve never seen Star Wars!?” I said.
I don’t remember her reply, but I’m guessing it goes something like this.
“Nope. Never.”
Then I said something. “But. But you sayed ‘May the Force be with you’ to me when we were bowling. I thought you had seen the movies.”
I’m not sure those were my exact words and I’m also not sure of her answer but it was probably along the lines of “(LOL) I know, but I’ve never seen the movies.”
Karin Anderson, or Karin, as I like to call her, has been the sheltered friend I had the above conversation with. I mean, I know I’M a sheltered boy and I’ve been called that a lot by friends and family alike(especially in college), but not seeing Star Wars is like having diarrhea and holding it in. Why would you do that? It doesn’t make sense, your life would be so much better if you went to the bathroom just like it would be better having watched Star Wars.
Now, we’ve talked quite a bit about watching them sometime, but it never happened. Over time the list has grown to include other movies such as the Incredibles(my brothers and sisters can pretty much quote the movie), Runaway Jury, The Italian Job, Harry Potter 3, and others. It first started in HS, then we talked about it during summer, and the next thing you know, Bam! I’m in college. We talked about it some more later on when she came down to Madison and it was decided I’d call whenever I came back home. I did most of the time but it never worked out. Then came Christmas break.
Tuesday the 27th Karin, Chris Smith, Kelsey Watkins, and Tyler Rolfes were over at my house to watch Star Wars. Finally! The big debate beforehand was whether to start with the old ones(IV, V, VI) or start with the new ones(I, II, III) – Molly if your reading this, i’m sorry about the Roman Numerals cuz I know you have a tough time with them but don’t worry, I’ll explain it to you. IV-4 V-5, and VI-6. I-1, II-2, and III-3. There ya go.
Should we go with the newer ones with better graphics but bad acting and a terrible dialogue or go with the better acting better dialogued, but older Star Wars? My decision was to go with the oldies thinking that is how most people started out and then she’ll be suprised by things that would be ruined otherwise. Talking to Dan, he said to start with the newer ones and since I didn’t care and Karin didn’t care about which ones to watch first, I went with Dan’s definite answer.
That night we watched I and II. I don’t really care for either of them, but it was pretty fun watching them with everybody I thought. It turned out that Kelsey had never seen most of them either so she was in for the best time of her life. Karin actually ended up guessing a lot of the things right. She knew the Senator for Naboo was the Emporer in Star Wars I by the shape of his mouth. I was happy because she made fun of Jar Jar Binks. As a group, we found out that Jedi love to rape people. Anybody. Men, women, children. If somebody asks you if you want to see their lightsaber, say “No!” and run. It is not what you think it is. On the other hand, you might as well just say “Yes” to see their lightsaber cuz they are Jedi and you can’t run. You’re screwed. Sucks to be you.
We also discovered you can tell if a Jedi is bad or will be bad by the color of his cloak. If it is black then that person is going to be evil or is evil. Black is such a depressing color, no wonder they go bad. They prolly listen to downer music too.
Then on Wednesday Karin, Tyler, and I watched Runaway Jury which was extremely good. There were a ton of actors that I had seen before in it and a lot of actors I liked. I’ve never been a big fan of Gene Hackman for some reason but it’s not really his fault. You see, I think as a child I was scarred. When I was little I saw Hooser’s but I didn’t like it. So whenever I think about Gene Hackman I get the feeling of how I feel about Hooser’s. Every movie I’ve seen him in he does a fantastic job and I like him during the movie, but just seeing his name on a movie doesn’t really excite me. So if i see him in a movie, i like him, but if I just think about him or see his name in some commercial for a movie I don’t get the best feeling.
Then Kelsey and Chris came over and we watched Episode III. Kelsey left a bit before the end because she had to get home and Karin fell asleep partway through. She looked drained but somehow managed to stay awake for the rest of the movie. I was impressed.
All in all I think Karin is a new person now that she has seen the movies. I think she kind of suffered through them which I think built character which was what I was going for all along. She now knows about the force and the danger of lightsabers. Those things kill.And rape. Stay away from black robes. People who’s mouths look untrustworthy should be avoided because they are probably Sith Lords. Dwight. 129$.
It should also be noted during the movie I said, “Anikan can make a woman climax just by pointing at her and saying “Boo-ya!” HAHAHAHA! – i thought it was funny.
December 30th, 2005 at 12:19 am
I think you were right in starting with the newer ones first. Save the best for last. This way, the movies get progressively better, and things are a little bit clearer (though not as shocking) when the big reveals happen in the older three movies.
And I totally know what you mean about Gene Hackman.
December 30th, 2005 at 12:25 am
I think it was a good call, too. Cause for many of us there were no “new ones” to start with so we had to reset our minds and… yeah, good call.
Also, we were just chatting about your dad getting stuck, then i left the conversation for a while, Why?? cause Smith got stuck in our driveway and i helped get him out. I wanted to tell you that via MSN but you had vanished.
December 30th, 2005 at 1:15 pm
Ya it was pretty fun. I killed Kelsey with my lightsaber after the movie cuz I wanted to be a ruler and she apposed it. Never mess with a Sith Lord. Sith Lords are so much better than Jedi. Hey Jedi……SUCKS TO BE YOU!!
December 30th, 2005 at 1:20 pm
Well I have not seen any of the newest Star Wars and if I did I am pretty sure I dont remember it cause I was not paying attention. It is a good thing I said “NO” when Benn asked me if I wanted to see his lightsaber last night. And I totally know what you mean about people being raped by lightsabers.I have photograghic evidence. You can see it if you visit my facebook photo album entitled “i LOVE my friends”. It is quite fascinating. Well . . . talk to ya later
December 30th, 2005 at 3:33 pm
I OPPOSED it too. Learn how to spell Smith, lol. I told Chris Jensen that we were watching Star Wars with newbies and he said, “What, those people still exist? I thought that was a myth that some people haven’t seen Star Wars.” And the movie wasn’t American Sweethearts, so throw it back in Karin’s face like a Chuck roundhouse.
January 1st, 2006 at 7:29 pm
Yes, it is the one and only Karin, who by some weird twist of nature had never seen Star Wars. Now many of you have asked if these “people who have never seen Star Wars” exist, well I come to you and tell you Yes, they do exist. Not only do they exist, but, they form clubs. Clubs with names I do not speak of.
As David mentioned, I learned many things from those galaxies far far away. I amazed all of those who watched with me of my remarkable powers of premonition. (Of course the chancellor was evil you didn’t notice the resemblance between his mouth and the Sith Lord’s mouth. Honestly.) And Jar Jar Binks really should be shot, but notice his part was substantially cut in Episode III. Now thats what I call good editing. As for little “Ani” I could see his destruction coming a mile away, however, if you want to explain to me how he managed to survive with all of his limbs being ripped off followed by being burned alive please feel free to do so. That is stil the mystery.
January 1st, 2006 at 8:13 pm
Anikan has a perfect immune system, and he can raise and lower his cholesteral at will. The lightsaber also closes the limbs it cuts because of the intense heat so you can’t bleed to death. He prolly would have died if not for the super cool Darth Vader halloween costume. And also, he is a Jedi after all and the other 3 movies would suck without him. Any better explanation than that I have not.
January 19th, 2006 at 12:53 pm
Yoda we now speak like? This do I can. Four movies of the last, quite not the same were they- with Yoda’s presence in absence. Old and slow was Yoda by then. Quite unlike the fighting fool of before.
January 19th, 2006 at 3:47 pm
Aged quickly Yoda did.