A Long Long Time Ago in a Galaxy Far Far Away there were two people talking to each other. In this casual conversation Star Wars came up.
“What!?” I said.
“You’ve never seen Star Wars!?” I said.
I don’t remember her reply, but I’m guessing it goes something like this.
“Nope. Never.”
Then I said something. “But. But you sayed ‘May the Force be with you’ to me when we were bowling. I thought you had seen the movies.”
I’m not sure those were my exact words and I’m also not sure of her answer but it was probably along the lines of “(LOL) I know, but I’ve never seen the movies.”

Karin Anderson, or Karin, as I like to call her, has been the sheltered friend I had the above conversation with. I mean, I know I’M a sheltered boy and I’ve been called that a lot by friends and family alike(especially in college), but not seeing Star Wars is like having diarrhea and holding it in. Why would you do that? It doesn’t make sense, your life would be so much better if you went to the bathroom just like it would be better having watched Star Wars.

Now, we’ve talked quite a bit about watching them sometime, but it never happened. Over time the list has grown to include other movies such as the Incredibles(my brothers and sisters can pretty much quote the movie), Runaway Jury, The Italian Job, Harry Potter 3, and others. It first started in HS, then we talked about it during summer, and the next thing you know, Bam! I’m in college. We talked about it some more later on when she came down to Madison and it was decided I’d call whenever I came back home. I did most of the time but it never worked out. Then came Christmas break.

Tuesday the 27th Karin, Chris Smith, Kelsey Watkins, and Tyler Rolfes were over at my house to watch Star Wars. Finally! The big debate beforehand was whether to start with the old ones(IV, V, VI) or start with the new ones(I, II, III) – Molly if your reading this, i’m sorry about the Roman Numerals cuz I know you have a tough time with them but don’t worry, I’ll explain it to you. IV-4 V-5, and VI-6. I-1, II-2, and III-3. There ya go.

Should we go with the newer ones with better graphics but bad acting and a terrible dialogue or go with the better acting better dialogued, but older Star Wars? My decision was to go with the oldies thinking that is how most people started out and then she’ll be suprised by things that would be ruined otherwise. Talking to Dan, he said to start with the newer ones and since I didn’t care and Karin didn’t care about which ones to watch first, I went with Dan’s definite answer.

That night we watched I and II. I don’t really care for either of them, but it was pretty fun watching them with everybody I thought. It turned out that Kelsey had never seen most of them either so she was in for the best time of her life. Karin actually ended up guessing a lot of the things right. She knew the Senator for Naboo was the Emporer in Star Wars I by the shape of his mouth. I was happy because she made fun of Jar Jar Binks. As a group, we found out that Jedi love to rape people. Anybody. Men, women, children. If somebody asks you if you want to see their lightsaber, say “No!” and run. It is not what you think it is. On the other hand, you might as well just say “Yes” to see their lightsaber cuz they are Jedi and you can’t run. You’re screwed. Sucks to be you.

We also discovered you can tell if a Jedi is bad or will be bad by the color of his cloak. If it is black then that person is going to be evil or is evil. Black is such a depressing color, no wonder they go bad. They prolly listen to downer music too.

Then on Wednesday Karin, Tyler, and I watched Runaway Jury which was extremely good. There were a ton of actors that I had seen before in it and a lot of actors I liked. I’ve never been a big fan of Gene Hackman for some reason but it’s not really his fault. You see, I think as a child I was scarred. When I was little I saw Hooser’s but I didn’t like it. So whenever I think about Gene Hackman I get the feeling of how I feel about Hooser’s. Every movie I’ve seen him in he does a fantastic job and I like him during the movie, but just seeing his name on a movie doesn’t really excite me. So if i see him in a movie, i like him, but if I just think about him or see his name in some commercial for a movie I don’t get the best feeling.

Then Kelsey and Chris came over and we watched Episode III. Kelsey left a bit before the end because she had to get home and Karin fell asleep partway through. She looked drained but somehow managed to stay awake for the rest of the movie. I was impressed.

All in all I think Karin is a new person now that she has seen the movies. I think she kind of suffered through them which I think built character which was what I was going for all along. She now knows about the force and the danger of lightsabers. Those things kill.And rape. Stay away from black robes. People who’s mouths look untrustworthy should be avoided because they are probably Sith Lords. Dwight. 129$.

It should also be noted during the movie I said, “Anikan can make a woman climax just by pointing at her and saying “Boo-ya!” HAHAHAHA! – i thought it was funny.