Holli and I are sure that this quote has shown up in LOST before, but we can’t find it. Do you guys know? It’s figuratively killing us!

If you know it and include episode number or title in your comment, we’ll name our baby after you*.

*If Jacob lets us.

Knowing that there are multiple programming languages (I just told you so, remember?), one reasonably wonders, “Why not just one programming language?” My brother wondered the very same thing in an email to me, which inspired this post. As children often do, his question revealed to me a greater query that I hadn’t stopped to think about before: why NOT just one programming language? (The joke here is that my brother is in his mid-twenties.)

One reason why there isn’t just one computer language is that there isn’t just one type of computer; there are thousands of different types of computers. Computers all speak a language called “machine language”. This, essentially, is the 1s and 0s of binary. Jotting down 1s and 0s would be a terribly ineffective way of communicating with a computer, so programming languages were devised.

The different programming languages came to solve different problems. The C language, for instance, was created as a systems language. It’s goal, as a language, was to build servers and operating systems. Prolog, on the other hand, is a logic language, designed for use in artificial intelligence. SQL makes it easy to manage data in a database management system. None of these languages are useful for creating webpages easily. That’s why we have Ruby, Java, PHP, ASP.Net, and CFML (ColdFusion).

Sometimes, a programmer will like the concepts of one language, but they’ll want the syntax of another. So, they create a new language. Some languages only exist as proof that a concept is possible. Some languages are specific to the platform for which they are written. For instance, a mobile phone might have it’s own simple operating system with a special programming language used to write the cell phone’s applications, or a social networking site might develop a language in their API for developers to use to get data from that social networking site.

Perhaps an analogy is in order. Programming languages are like tools. When you’re trying to hang a painting, a hammer is better for driving a nail than a mallet. A mallet will do the job, but that’s not quite what it’s supposed to be used for. And, most importantly, you couldn’t do everything you needed to do with just a hammer. You could do a lot, and get close to almost all of it, but in the end it’s nice to have other tools in the box.

Another analogy is out of order, but I’m just that crazy. Programming languages are not like natural languages. People hear PHP, Ruby and ColdFusion, and they think of German, French, and English. RESIST THAT URGE. Programming languages are not at all equivalent to natural languages. The main reason for this is that natural languages sprang up from a human need to express the scope of intellectual thought and the breadth of expression capable in their speakers; computer languages just make computers do stuff and junk.

Using the programming language criteria above, are a French-speaking person and an English-speaking person so fundamentally different that they require different languages? Of course not. A French-speaking person is just as capable of learning English as an English-speaking person. Similarly, French doesn’t solve any problem that English can’t solve. You might be inclined to say that French poetry is much easier on the ears, or that English is a much better business language, but these aren’t properties of the language per se. English might be considered a better business tool because of its wide adoption, and French… well, I guess it IS easier on the ears, but that’s not the reason French was created.

At L&S, I usually find myself playing in ColdFusion (CFML), HTML, CSS, and JavaScript, but I’ve also played with PHP, Java, Python, and Classic ASP. On a recent project, I found myself using ASP.Net and C# for one half and CFML for the second half. In my personal time, I’ve played with Ruby and Google’s Go, among others. I’m not listing this all out to impress you, but let’s be honest; some of you are really impressed. I’m listing these languages to show just how varied the Internet landscape is right now. In fact, looking at this list, I think my list of languages might be light for a web programmer these days. No Perl? No Clojure? No Scala? No Processing?

As servers get better at deploying (and virtualizing) the ability to utilize these languages in an integrated environment, web developers are getting more interested in picking the right tool for the job. Better server performance means giving developers more tools to play with and utilize. That, in turn, means faster, more efficient websites and, regrettably, a whole lot of developer ego.

Those guys can get pretty insufferable. Trust me.

Honestly, I think I’ve had this dream before.

This episode was a Locke episode. This (almost certainly) mirrors the 4rdth episode of Season 1, entitled “Walkabout”, which was also Locke’s story, and, in my opinion, one of the greatest episodes in the series. That said, we follow Flocke in Reality1, and we follow Locke in Reality2. I’m not going to recap the episode, but I do want to talk about a smattering of topics and details that I think are worth bringing up.

Locke’s Dad

In R2, Locke is engaged to his beloved Helen. Things between them are at a much different place than they were when he went to Australia in R1. As Locke soaks in a tub, considering fabric swatches, Helen laments the frustrations and stress of preparing for a wedding. She asks why they don’t just do a quiet ceremony, stating that the guest list can be comprised solely of her parents and his dad.

Waaaaah?

In R1, Locke’s relationship with his dad has been a complicated, nasty mess that has shaped his outlook (and his spine). Helen’s mention of inviting Locke’s dad to the wedding, in R2, suggests that they are on favorable terms with his dad. Not only that, but they seem close to him (close enough to be one of three guests at a shotgun wedding). This suggests a large number of possibilities:

• Locke’s Dad is Anthony Cooper, but this time he is not a bastard, thereby being on good terms with his son
• Locke’s Dad is a step-dad, married to Locke’s mom
• Locke’s Dad is a different man altogether (a biological impossibility)
• Locke’s Dad is an adopted dad who adopted Locke
• Helen was being “edgy and ironic” and the joke didn’t really land

Of those possibilities, the only one that would really herald major change is the first. If Anthony Cooper isn’t a bastard, he probably isn’t hustling people for money, which means he hasn’t caused Sawyer’s dad to kill his wife and then himself. This would drastically change Sawyer’s future, and he would no longer be seeking life-long revenge on “Mr. Sawyer”. We could also speculate that Sawyer wouldn’t be conning people, but that might just be his predisposition. In any case, they would reveal the new Sawyer at his new R2 job, using the same con artist tricks of the trade. “Used car salesman” comes to mind.

That’s beside the point; what these possibilities really suggest is that Locke lost his legs by another method. In R1, Locke confronts his father about a new relationship, wondering if Anthony is conning the woman for her money. Dangerously close to being found out, Anthony Cooper pushes Locke out the window of a building, paralyzing him. In R2, none of the new dad possibilities get us to that point. Locke was interested in Anthony Cooper in the first place because Locke had never had an adequate father figure. Anthony capitalized on that to take advantage of John, thereby starting the chain of events of bastardness. Even if Locke lost his legs by the same means, it probably wasn’t the same intent.

A minor question is that of how Locke and Helen meet in Reality2. Originally, Locke attempts anger management classes after his father steals his kidney. There, he meets Helen. If my father possibilities are right, then Locke and Helen would have met through some other circumstance, as there’d be no reason for John to attend anger management classes.

Flocke’s Vision

One possibility that has arisen since we discovered that the Smoke Monster can take a human form is that the strange visions and sightings on the Island were in fact his work. Well, that theory was dealt a devastating blow when Flocke saw an unnerving vision himself, of a boy with blond hair and clothing straight out of an Abercrombie & Other catalog. Interesting to note, Richard could not see the boy, but Ford could. The first time we see the boy, his arms appear to be covered in blood. The second time, he runs, Flocke gives chase, falls, and is issued a warning. The boy says, “Remember the rules. You (we?) can’t kill him,” to which Flocke answers, “Don’t tell me what I can’t do!” This guy’s a broken record even after death.

The most interesting thing, to me, about the visions is the truly shaken reaction of Flocke after seeing it, particularly the first time. We, as an audience, are used to strange visions, but the characters who aren’t react the same way: disbelief. Perhaps this vision is the work of Jacob, but it certainly appears as if visions (or, at least, this particular vision) take Flocke by surprise. Perhaps, as a puppet master, he feels he is beyond these parlor tricks, but it might also be that he can’t explain the vision any better than we can. I’m sure next episode someone will say, “You don’t look so good,” and they’ll advise the smoke monster to “get some rest.” That’s how it usually goes.

The Numbers and Kate

In R1, Flocke takes Sawyer to a cave dug a cliff facing the ocean. Inside the cave is an office desk with some instruments on it (one of which is a scale with one white rock and one black rock on it). Deeper into the cave, we see ceilings and walls covered in names with numbers next to them. Most of the names are crossed out. These names, and their numbers, correspond to characters in the show. It’s a set of numbers we’ve seen time and time again. Flocke off-handedly mentions that Jacob “had a thing for numbers”, but that’s all we get in the way of an exact explanation. The list:

• 4 — LOCKE
• 8 — REYES
• 15 — FORD
• 16 — JARAH
• 23 — SHEPHARD
• 42 — KWON

As Flocke reads this list, we see cut scenes from the Season 5 finale, when Jacob goes to meet a number of survivors. He touches them as he meets them. This reveal and explanation is pretty tidy. The only question that the scene raises (on its own accord) is whether KWON means Sun or Jin, as Jacob touched them both. The question that the scene doesn’t raise on its own accord is “Where’s Kate?” Kate has a number of distinctions: she was an Oceanic 6, she was on The List that got her captured and brought to Hydra Island, and she was visited and touched by Jacob.

Why doesn’t Kate have a number? Or, if she does, what is that number? Is she crossed out? Flocke mentions that the wall is a list of candidates for those thought worthy of protecting the Island. In that sense, it’s not so bad that she’s not up there; it just means that she’s not a candidate. On the other hand, it could have farther reaching implications, including a special role with regards to her boyfriend-candidates and/or untimely death.

Check out a fascinating list of candidates on Lostpedia.

Benjamin Linus (Here and There)

I wanted to touch on this topic because it’s one that has worried me since the ending of Season 5. What is the role of Benjamin Linus in Season 6? Since his introduction in Season 2, Ben Linus (then Henry Gale) has been manipulative, scheming, lying, and murdering to stay in charge, on top, and alive. Ben is a survivalist of the utmost ferocity. It’s those deliciously conniving features that make Ben one of my favorite characters. Scratch that, he is my favorite character. That is why Season 6 has me worried for him.

As it stands right now, in both realities, Ben is no longer the force he once was. In R1, he’s no longer a part of the drama. Flocke left with Richard, the other Others went to the Temple, and Ben is still at the beach, presumably because he no longer fits in with his people. Having just killed a man who he has followed for much of his life, Ben is rudder-less. Richard, a normal source of direction, is gone. Locke, his recent adversary, is dead (still). As they bury Locke’s body, Ben is the only one who felt he knew Locke well enough to say something at the grave. He expresses remorse for killing John Locke, and I’m afraid that might be a sign of things to come. Ben has no reason to survive anymore. Alex, his daughter, is dead; John Locke, his Island adversary, is dead; Widmore is off-Island and out of reach, Juliet, for whom he once had romantic feelings, is dead. Ben is left with one person he’s never met before and two he doesn’t care about.

In R2, we meet Ben as a European History teacher at the high school where Locke is subbing. Ben has glasses which make him look pretty thoroughly nerdy, and we meet him as he’s chastising the faculty on disposing of coffee filters when the pot is empty. Ben is cordial, if a little gruff in his general demeanor. John’s request for Earl Grey tea impresses Ben, who eagerly introduces himself to John. In all, it’s an interesting look at Ben’s life without [spending his formative years on the] Island. [He wouldn’t have had the promises of Jacob seducing him as his father grew more and more alcoholic and abusive. He wouldn’t have had the rivalry with Widmore to further twist him into a sadistic, calculated manipulator.] All that would make Ben into a pleasant person. What need is there for his survival skills in a high school (public school jokes aside, that is)?

I believe some event is going to kick Ben back into his old tricks. In R1, it’ll probably arise from his own distrust of Ilana. He may poison Sun and Lapidus against Ilana and seize that opportunity. He may work to divide the four of them into two groups, convincing one of the other two to join him. Or, something else entirely may happen. The question is where would he go, and what would he do? Ben is going to try to get on the “winning side”, though we’re not entirely sure of what. Will Ben remember his devotion to Jacob and fight against Flocke, or will he honor a new master? In R2, Ben’s future is much cloudier. We really have no idea if he’ll even be a feature. Right now, Season 6 is heavily influenced by Season 1, and Ben doesn’t make his appearance until Season 2. Certainly, he’s important enough to warrant inclusion, but will it be anything more than the cameo we just saw?

We’ll have to wait and see.

I’ll put up a more technical write up later.

There you are, in blackness, your hand flapping frantically against the wall like the panicked gropings of a strangling victim. You try to walk on with dignity, but the mute, invisible furniture knows; the silent, staring portraits of you hold their judgmental looks, which seem to say, “You looked a complete idiot.”

With mixed feelings, you realize that those frozen facsimiles of you are right; you did look a complete idiot. And you vow to never look a idiot again.

Alyce Miles

Just try and wrap your mind around this.

YouTube – MINI DADDY ADRIANSITO EL NIÑO MAS BONITO .

Final Season Of ‘Lost’ Promises To Make Fans More Annoying Than Ever | The Onion — America’s Finest News Source.

A real magician doing a really fantastic GOB impression. Actual magic not included.

YouTube — The Gob Act: A Tribute to Arrested Development.

Futurama timeline at Everything2.com.

We’re about to watch 9. We had a couple plans for tonight — one was to watch episodes from our favorite TV shows that take place during New Year’s Eve. That is a fine idea until you endeavor to figure out which episodes those might be. IMDB plot searches proved fruitless.

The next plan was to watch a movie that takes place, at least in part, during New Year’s Eve. This, too, was largely fruitless for the same reasons. Also, I couldn’t recall a single movie we own taking place (in whole or part) during New Year’s Eve.

Our final plan was to rent something from iTunes. We enacted this same plan over Christmas at the Gregg household. There we purchased “Four Christmases”, which took about sixty minutes to download (and produced about three minutes of laughter). Tonight we’ve purchased “9”, which took about twelve minutes to download. Thank you, MidcoNet high-speed broadband internet.

So far I’m enjoying “9”. Check it out. As Holli put it, it’s kinda fitting that we’re watching “9” on the last day of 2009. That’s totally what we meant to do, yo.

Dumb post.

UPDATE: After discovering that Hulu’s ball drop was truly a livestream (and not being re-broadcast for Central Time), we rung in the new year with a fireworks display in the city of Funchal in Madeira, Portugal. Thank you, Ustream. The action starts about 3:00 into it.