Bryce Rausch and the Goblet of Fire
December 4th, 2005
So the reason I feel like Harry Potter isn’t just because I bought a wand with the same feather as him and Volde-locks but the reason is because of last night.
I’ll set it up. Someone in the school hates me, just like Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. They set up a situation for me to be embarrassed in front of a crowd of maybe 500 people, maybe more, I really have no clue, stands were decent but not super good and I think when it’s Hawaiian Night, our biggest crowd of the year, we push like 1500 people.
So we’re at the game, Lindsey and I, and we are members of the “Mustang Maniacs” which is just a way to get more students to the games. And all people that are Mustang Maniacs can put their name in a goblet of fire (Tupperware bowl) and the goblet will choose (some guy will randomly draw) who can play in the tri-wizard tournament (dash for cash, they put slips of paper all over the court and some have $10, $5, or $1 written on them and others are blank).
Lindsey and I submit our names into the goblet that was like overflowing with fire. We sit back down and think not much of it. Then Dumbledore comes onto the microphone and announces the two competitors. Start the dramatic music.
LINDSEY NELSEN. The crowd is stunned, is she even old enough to enter? But has quickly can she dash for cash!? Lindsey shrieks with glee as embarrassment fills me. I have defeated Voldermort in like every movie and now I’m supposed to watch this mudblood rake in the cash?
And BRYCE RAUSCH! THANK GOD, I REALLY WANTED HIM TO BE SELECTED, TOO.
How could this be? We not only were sitting next to each other but we were wearing the exact same color shirts which Nelly had commented on already and we put our names into the goblet at the same time. The probability of that happening is… um… 42. Immediately Ron gets pissy and all the men in the stadium ask Lindsey to the ball. Shit, I go with the “Non-Whites”.
We both go to the floor and wait our turn at halftime of the men’s game. We get to keep any cash we pick up but they humiliate the loser by announcing the winner to everyone using a microphone and speakers.
I choose to go to the far court so Lindsey doesn’t have to, and as I stretch to get ready to begin the competition I hear jeers from the crowd. MY MONEY’S ON THE GIRLFRIEND…YOU WIN YOU’RE ON THE COUCH…YOU’RE A LIL BITCH
I knew something was wrong, crowd’s normally love me and ask to see my appendix scar whenever I’m around and they jeer?
We have 30 seconds, start…NOW. I don’t see Lindsey again for what seemed like an eternity, I literally am diving around after the slips of paper, I grab everything and stuff them into my palms, no consideration for neatness. I get nearly every slip of paper on my side of the court and at half-court with 5 seconds to go I meet up with Lindsey again. I dive for the last dollar and knock it out of her hand. I have two fistfuls of cash while she neatly has hers gathered together. I have way more slips than her and realize I have beaten Volde-locks again (in a way I can’t type to you).
They begin counting, Lindsey opens up to me about her strategy, “I get the one’s that have dollar amounts on them, and I think I got a couple $10’s” it wasn’t till that very moment that I realized there WERE tens and fives. The man counts hers, winks at her, and says “Just as the dark Lord wants, ma’am.” She was $30. The chick counts mine and has to unfold my crushed paper and mockingly says, “oooh you got a five here”. Bitch. My total is $23.
Not only that, Lindsey didn’t even know this but I think one of slips was a port key that pushed my outside and then it flew away into a giant fire outside so I had to run all the way back to the gym.
We sit down, I’m made fun of relentless by the Slytherines and I bury myself in my Pumpkin Juice.
Lindsey beat me. But it’s ok, we decided to spend the money on dinner and entertainment Thursday night, our 5 frickin year anniversary. Holy hell, huh?
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