Those two words bring two thoughts into most people’s heads: Strippers and Bad. Also pushing the boundaries is Bryce (http://www.milesrausch.com/plethora) (Me). And this Saturday when Lindsey went to bars and drank very small glasses of awful tasting liquids that make you dizzy and say things much louder than you should I had my party.
I’ll officially say it began early that day when I played basketball…with my shirt off, YEAH LADIES! Even got a burn on my back (From beings so HOT and not wearing sun PROTECTION, UGHHH) So, I, as usual, lost 2 of 3 to Phil. I can’t remember being so winded from basketball, it didn’t help that it was 90 degrees and I hadn’t run in like 2 weeks. Whatever, went home and started drinking. We came home and caught Lindsey watching Lindsay (Cocaine Whore) Lohan in some teeny movie and grinning ear to ear with girlish pride. GAY.
We watched some Incredibad videos and then went to Dominics still lacking a plan for the night. The girls were quick to kick us out so we went to Dave and Busters where we really weren’t in the mood to play games, we couldn’t go to Atlantic City where there are plenty of hookers for all of us (and they don’t even card you!) But no. Instead we went back to Dominics after a brief stop at Unos where we were trying to decide if we should stay and watch the game or get out of there, we chose to skidat.
At Dominic’s we played drinking games, some with water and orange soda, and some with beer. Then we talked football till it was time to get the girls. Oh yeah, Linds also called via Amber’s phone 3 times saying that she loved me, missed me, and that everyone at the bar were assholes. So, we met up with them at the Eagles/Phillies/76′ers/Flyers parking lot, which was a pretty cool sight, and they had a taxi bring them there. Linds was mega hammered.
So, all-in-all not what I’d choose for a bachelor party, half-way through the night we collectively decided we would just say it wasn’t my bachelor party.
In case you missed it, this little 6 foot nothing point guard was hit HARD by Robert Horry, 6′10″ at the end of the second to last playoff game. It was a hockey hip check and Steve Nash was decked. Well, just watch it:
So, he gets up and gets right in Robert Horry’s … um…chest. I mean, that’s suicide. Tony informed me that afterward he was quoted as saying, “I’ve been working on my guns and figured I could get a few combo shots into his stomach before they pulled us apart”.
So, as I’ve been playing some ball more and more with Phil and random guys at this one nearby park I’ve realized something. I am a shooter. I have a good jump shot that I have worked at for a long time. I’m pretty quick and a decent defender. However, I lack the most important skill for someone of my size, the ability to drive and lay it up. When playing by yourself in your driveway who wants to practice layups or dribbling? So, I practiced my jump shots.
Bad move.
So, at work we had to fill out a Goal Sheet, mostly to look back at and say, “look BJ, you aren’t hitting your stats OR YOUR PERSONAL GOALS! Do it for you, Bro!” So, the sections are things like, how much do you want to sell, how many units, where do you want to get these from (CPA’s, banks, etc), but my favorites are “personal goals” “What would you buy with the money you earn” and things like that.
WOW, the comedic potential. Specifically with the “what would you buy with the money earned”. All I could think of was, “LEOPARD And/Or Cheetah” “A new pen” “A helicopter” “An Island” “A 2 liter of coca-cola” “Index Cards” “Pay to have my Resume Professionally Done” “A slave” “A gun” “Land”.
Personal Goals: “Get out of here” “Take YOUR job” “Not get caught stealing from the company” “Begin Embezzling” “Get away with a murder” “Drown someone’s puppy/robot/baby” “Prove I’m not crazy and that God is in fact BrrrnNTurnnn on Party Poker and WoW”
Me being 22 began with going to classes during finals week, eating at the Mariachi Fiesta with Linds, and partying at Bartley’s. It was my first “flippy cup” game and we blew up Bartley’s rubber band ball.
I graduated a week later, marking 2 very significant moments in my life: 1. I graduated from college with 2 degrees, beginning my life and 2. I gave the inaugural student speech at graduation, which went well.
That summer I worked for dad. Big projects: sandblasting at Rausch Brothers, splitting wood, hauling wood to grandma’s, and being on the road with dad. It is now that I miss those times the most, waking up, no need to shower, just throw clothes on and be ready to get a little dirty. Over the summer some highlights: Guse’s party, where I made a mess of myself, I think Back to Doland took place, where I made an ass of myself, Rausch Reunion- awesome seeing everyone and got the biggest game of Ultimate Frisbee I’ve ever seen going, golfing in the couples tournament, and of course the typical day-to-day activities (Twins games, Ultimate, golf, jumping around on the pole vault mat, watching Rox or whatever, and drinking).
Of course, the biggest thing that ocurred over the summer was the France trip and the engagement of Linds and I in the Louvre, Paris, France. On paper it looks romantic, but i gave it a Bryce twist of “lacking romance” somehow. France was awesome and I miss it.
Then came August, when I moved to Philadelphia to start a new chapter of my life. Aside from being broke and 1500 miles from home, my van broke down a month into living out here. So, a temp job to pay some bills, a real job to pay some rent, and a side job to pay for drugs I started my life like many 20 somethings out in the real world, busting my ass, and waiting for my first break.
Some other highlights:
-Got a new car
-Have a 401(k)
-Made Employee of the Month
-Got 2 cats
-Nearly got mugged
-Road a train to a job interview
-Got a GPS system
-Got an HDTV
-Ran an office NCAA pool
-Co-hosted Grey’s Anatomy/The Office night nearly every Thursday
-Made friends with not just white people
-Played some street basketball
-Went to a club
-Went on a booze cruise
-Helped organize the wedding
-Was quoted in a newspaper (similar reach to the Argus Leader)
-Got a raise
-Learned to not trust doctors
During my 22nd year I learned how to live away from family, which is never fun (especially for us), and how to support myself. I also learned how to celebrate holidays with friends rather than family. Labor day-alone, but Thanksgiving and Easter with some of Linds’ classmates. Luckily I did make it home over Christmas, which made it all the more difficult leaving.
What will year 23 bring Bryce? Who the hell knows? More money? More debt? A new place to live? And what tragedies will occur that I’ll be forced to say, “if only I lived closer to home” or “if only we had the money”.
Well, Linds has done it again, got me a present that puts my best present I’ve ever purchased for her to shame. Here’s the story:
I got home from work and Linds asked when I wanted my present, I said immediately, and she went and got my new outfit from Old Navy. Khaki shorts, a nice button down shirt, and some boxers, because I don’t buy my own underwear (except the thong collection she doesn’t know about…”dancing queen, young and sweet”). I give her a kiss, thank her, and then my brain starts working, slowly at that. She had revealed a few things in the previous weeks, 1. that she had told my buddy Phil and some other people what I was getting and asked for their advice, and 2. when I was looking into presents for Linds’ birthday present in August she said that Keith Urban concert tickets would be good since she’s spending $300 on me.
Let me tell you, it was a good outfit, but no 300 bucks good. So, Linds and I are heading to play tennis and I say, Linds, are you ready? I come into her room and she has this big grin on her face and she can tell she’s waiting for me to say something. I say, “what’s so funny?” And Linds clearly looking like she’s caught doing something says, “Oh, I thought you said something else” and looks away. I’m like, “hey, btw you must’ve lied about having Phil help pick it out, there’s no way you asked him advice on my clothes” and she sheepishly says, “yeah, I lied” I walk back into the living room and am ready to go and Linds walks past, smiling still. I’m like, “and there’s no way you spent 300 bucks on this, by the way” and she goes, “for christ’s sake bryce, it’s right here!” and she picks up this box that was set down with the clothes that I looked over everytime, a GPS system. A TomTom, cause us normal folk can’t afford Garmin. So, we tried it out, one negative point, apparently it’s Big Stone, MN and Mitchell Avenue doesn’t exist. Bastards!
Anyway, definitely one of the best presents I’ve ever received, thanks.
